Amazing Race
Bavaria or Bolivia?

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Bavarian Creamed

Bopper and Mark "finish" the Speed Bump, which has once again turned out to be less of a challenge involving skill than just a way to kill some time, judging by how well they just yodeled. They don't even seem to have gotten any better after the task either, according to a post-leg interview clip in which they "show off" their "new" "skills."

Team Big Brother and Team Undercover show up at the Gustof Zum Rassen restaurant next, in fifth and sixth place respectively, while Bopper and Mark are changing back into their own clothes. Jamie wants to do Champion Male, but when Brendon asks Rachel if she can style a beard, she says, "I don't even know what a beard is." Sure you don't, lady. The cousins have also arrived, in seventh place, and opt for the gingerbread as well. Bopper and Mark get out of there, once again in eighth and last place, but they're happy to have that Speed Bump behind them. "We went through the Speed Bump like a yodel-ay-hee-hoo," Bopper crows in their backseat as they pull out. Yes, like yodel-ay-hee-hoo through a goose.

Other Rachel and Dave get a check on their work, and the beard champion, after a thoughtful pause, says, "Okay." He said that like it's the German word for "good enough, under the circumstances, I suppose." Other Rachel lies that he looks sexy, and they're out of there in second place, while Team Jersey seems frustrated at how their guy's side-spikes are drooping at a 30-degree angle. The beard champ: "No, no, no." One wonders how long these two have been getting away with 30-degree angles in another arena.

It's snowing hard when Vanessa and Ralph get to the bearding-house in fourth place. "I've never seen this much snow in my life," says the San Antonio girl. Here in Minneapolis, I try and fail at not snickering knowingly. Inside, Vanessa takes one look at the photo like a doctor doing triage and gets right to work partitioning and curling their guy's beard. Ralph offers to try to mirror her work on the other side, but she wants to make sure it's even. "I'm sorry, I know, you've never done this before," she says understandingly. Wait, how many beards has she done this to?

Riding in the car, Rachel asks Brendon out of nowhere, "What ever happened to going to Bolivia?" Brendon corrects that they're in Bavaria. Between this and her earlier beard-blank, I'm starting to wonder if her multiple tantrums from last week triggered some sort of stroke that wiped out all of her b-words save "Brendon" and "Bukie." I'm sure none of us will rest easy until the next time we hear her call Vanessa a beeyotch.

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Amazing Race

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