Amazing Race
Back in the Saddle

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 81 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Mulligan Stew

Later in the airport, Brendon and Rachel express their sympathies to Mark over Bopper. I suppose these two teams did race together during TAR 20. Natalie makes fun of Rachel for having already started crying, and Mark is pretty forthcoming about how much it sucks. Natalie says she can't imagine being told she couldn't race with Nadiya, and Nadiya says she'd be like, "Bitch, you better not go nowhere." Isn't she always like that anyway?

The first four teams (Afghanimals, cowboys, Dave & Connor, and the Twinnies) board that first Cathay Pacific flight after dark, and Dave says this will give them an hour's jump on the other teams. The second flight is an Eva Air joint carrying Jessica & John, Team YouTube, the country singers, the Globetrotters, Luke & Margie, Team Kentucky, and Team Big Brother. Cue the Amazing Green Line and the Amazing Teal Line zipping across the Pacific to Guangzhou, via Taipei and Hong Kong respectively. "When they land," Phil narrates, "they must travel by taxi or Metro to Guangzhou's Street of Wedding Dresses." That is apparently an actual thing, as the camera pans across bridal boutique after bridal boutique on this one nightmare-inducing block of the city. Amid the hundreds (!) of stores, the teams will have to find one of only three, each of which has a limited number of clues which the proprietress will hand over in charming little gift bags.

But first, we get a nice aerial shot of the huge city, with its skyscrapers and its traffic, and oh yeah, its airport, where the first four teams are dashing through the terminal in search of ground transportation. The cowboys look for the Metro station while the Twinnies, Dave & Connor, and the Afghanimals head right outside to the taxi stand. Jet & Cord can only hope they're on "the express train to the Express Pass." Looks like it worked out for them, because they soon come up out of the station and right out onto the correct street. "Look at all the fricking wedding dresses," Jet says, which is unusually salty language for him. "How many fricking dress shops are in this place?" Oh my gravy, what a potty-mouth. They quickly find a blurry-faced local who's willing to point them in the direction of one of the three stores they're looking for, just as Natalie & Nadiya are arriving in their taxi and complaining about the signs being in "Asian." Can you still be an Ugly American if you're from Sri Lanka?

The Afghanimals are also rolling up, and Jamal says that since his previous race, he got married to a woman named Tammy. She didn't mind him and Leo making Ally & Ashley their "race wives?" I suppose if you're going to marry Jamal, you can't be a person who minds much of anything. Or maybe it's just that when he was in the race the first time, she hadn't come in the mail yet. Both teams are soon out of their taxis and looking for someone who can speak English to help them out. And since they're in the same place at the same time trying to do the same thing, they're soon working together in a hurriedly-forged Loud South Asian alliance. "How hard can this be?" Nadiya interviews portentously. You just let us know later, Nadiya. Much later (spoiler).

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Amazing Race

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