Amazing Race
Are There Instructions On Donkey-Handling?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Taking out the trash

Hornio runs down to the area where the roof frames are, and they rustle up their team of locals. This task really does seem so obviously preferable that I don't know why anyone would get involved with something tedious like mud-throwing, but there you go. The roof gets lifted up, and then Hornio and their team of locals are running with it.

The second clump of teams arrives, and they read the Detour clue. Hayden and Aaron pick the roof; Nuance picks the hut. Kris and Jon seem to be waffling, but fortunately, they ultimately pick the roof. All the teams, by the way, run past several small and irresistible children saying, "Hello!" Very cute little kids, I will agree. Hayden and Aaron pick up their roof, and Nuance starts with the mud. In a great shot, roof-carriers pass right behind Lori as she flings more mud up onto their carrier. In other words? Mud bad. Roof good. Speaking of which, Kris and Jon are on the way with their roof, too.

In a bad development, Freddy cuts his finger. And I don't want to spend a lot of time on it, because I'll get dizzy and quite possibly pass out, but his finger bleeds A LOT, and he still doesn't stop working. It's very unpleasant to look at, with the large quantity of blood mixing with the mud on his hands. Kendra tries to tell him he needs to go and get first aid, but he doesn't want to stop. Wait, I have to go lie down.

Okay, I'm back. Don't show Freddy's finger again. Hornio fits their roof over their hut, and it turns out that in order to finish it off, someone then has to climb up and put a jug on the top of the roof. El Hornio makes his way up the ladder. Rebecca bugs him to go faster, to which he says with some frustration for her to leave him alone. "I've never placed a jug on a roof before," he says simply. Hee. When he's done, they tear their next clue, which tells them to deliver two donkeys to a farmer near a church that's shown in the clue. Phil explains that this involves walking a couple of donkeys about three miles to a church that's carved out underground. Three miles isn't an extremely short walk when you're hauling unwilling animals.

As the mud-slingers continue to work, Kendra frets over the fact that Freddy has a big open wound and is sticking his hands in Mud Of Unknown Origin. Yeah, I kind of agree with her. But he's not impressed, and just keeps up with the mud. To her concern that he's sticking his wounded hands in "crap," he responds that it might be "holy crap." Not a great line, but at least it takes my mind off all the blood so I can remain conscious. Meanwhile, Hornio grabs a couple of donkeys, and Rebecca is the first to find herself hilarious when she yells, "Move your ass, you ass!" She actually snort-laughs at this, because it is so original that there are a few non-English-speaking third-graders in other parts of the world who have never sent the show who didn't come up with it. "I don't know what to do," she laments. "Are there instructions on donkey-handling?" Sigh. See? Even for the joke she chose, "Are there instructions on ass-handling?" would have been much, much funnier. Amateur.

Aaron jugs the hut, and they leave with their donkeys. Jon jugs their hut, and they leave, too. These three roof-carrying teams all meet up at the donkey pens, where Rebecca is still trying to drag the donkeys. My favorite part is where Aaron is behind Hayden and her donkey as they walk, and he grins and says, out of her earshot, "I'm good at guiding asses." Then he waves his donkey crop at Hayden. "Just kidding," he laughs. He's not, of course. But what fun would passive-aggressive be without the passive part?

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Amazing Race

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