Amazing Race
Amazing “Crazy” Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 64 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Finished

However, Marie is still convinced that the other teams weren't at the park they were looking for, and is glad to have arrived at Media City. Of course they don't know that they're the only team to have not finished the Detour, let alone the only team to have not yet started it. Once inside, Marie sees Jamal & Leo's costumes folded up there -- not very well, it should be said, proving that neither of them works at The Gap -- and is totally fooled. "Kinda paid off not following those dummies, huh," she says in a clip that could be used to illustrate the phrase "dramatic irony," and interviews that they assumed Leo & Jamal "had some type of horrible travel disaster." Actually I think Chester & Ephraim have that covered for the next three or four seasons. The host asks them if they're "Boyfriendo-girlfriendo." "No, we used to be," Marie says rather too quickly. The host: "Uh-oh, boooo!" The audience joins him in pointing their thumbs at the floor as Marie explains that they broke up. The host claims not to know what that means, so Tim slowly explains, "She? Broke my heart." The host thinks that makes it an American love story. "It's American Horror Story," Marie corrects. Good one. And accurate, except that Marie's far too horrible to be believable as part of the AHS ensemble. Eventually she and Tim are in their white kimonos and when Tim pushes her down the center of the slide, she goes flying and bounces up on her feet and runs a couple of steps before dropping back down into the tube. That's an automatic DQ for that try, and Marie yells up at Tim, "Why would you throw me in the air like that?" I'm sure the host and the audience are getting the picture now. But Tim & Marie can laugh about it in the post-leg interview, as she says, "he was actually trying to injure me," "It's my only chance," Tim agrees. The host says she almost flew like a bird, and Tim gives her another shove that ends in a near-gutterball that knocks down just one pin? "Only one?" The host yells at her, picking it up and hurling it at her. Seeing a giant bowling pin getting thrown at Marie has me thinking the same thing the host just said.

After the suspenseful ad break, Marie climbs the ramp as the host suggests more speed. That's how I usually adjust my strategy when I'm regular-bowling and we're on the third or fourth game and the beer has turned my aim to shit. Might as well make chaos theory your ally, is my thinking. Marie suggests bouncing Tim off the wall on the way down, and then he can "flail and spin" at the bottom. And that seems to do it. As the tinsel-cannons go off, Tim celebrates Jamal-like with the host as Marie runs down to join them, and they have their clue to the fountain in last place. Not that they know that. "No sign of the Afghanimals," Marie says. "They either did the phone thing or they got really screwed up at the airport." Marie is discounting the third, and correct, theory, which is that the Afghanimals don't even have to be present to lie to you now.

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Amazing Race

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