Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
Slumdog Would-Be Millionaires

After the commercials, the Stuntmen continue searching, while the Flight Attendants have only seven more rupees to collect.

Mike urges Mel along into the fortress, where Phil is looking increasingly bored with the nose flutes. You'd think with two of them, the dude could play a few more notes. Phil welcomes the Whites in second place, and Mike proudly says that Mel "smoked the competition in their twenties." Mel interviews that hearing that was better than a million dollars. "I love this kid anyway, but when I make him proud, that's the prize for me in this race." I feel that. M. Edium's currently in the stage where he loves telling me that I'm the best dad in the whole wide world. It's only a matter of time until he learns otherwise.

Mark and Michael are still getting nowhere except dirty with their search for the elephant. Meanwhile, the Flight Attendants have actually caught up, as they hand over their hundred rupees and change so they can briefly enjoy a chyron that ranks them "Currently in 6th Place." They get back in their cab, agreeing, "This is it." But is it too late? By now Mark and Michael have found their elephant, and although they're "Currently in Last Place," it's only a cab race away from elimination for one of them. I have to say, I'd miss both these teams just about equally.

In a motorcycle rickshaw riding up the hill to the fort, Margie remarks on the other teams coming up the hill behind them. "Don't let them pass you," Kisha tells her and Jen's driver. The cheerleaders are also in sight. The next thing we know, all of them are out of their cabs, leaving their bags behind with their cabbies and racing inside. From the vantage point of the fort's roof, we can see the three teams running up, fifty yards apart. It's the sisters, Margie|Luke, and Team Go Team. And that's the order in which they arrive on the mat, three-four-five.

Rapid cutting ensues between the last two teams in their cabs, traveling through the city, each hoping they're still in it. Then we're back at the Pit Stop, with some suspenseful TV-movie piano music over shots of the fortress. Empty passages. Monkeys. The Amazing Editors realize that the trouble with having such a strategically defensible Pit Stop is that you can see exactly who's coming from half a mile away. A cab pulls up. Phil wonders how far into the greeter's brain he can push those nose flutes. And then, around the corner to the mat, it's... Mark and Michael. They high-ten, and Phil tells them they cut it close. "Christie and Jodi, they're right behind you," he points out, and indeed, we can see the Flight Attendants futilely climbing a ramp off in the distance. The Stuntmen clear out and the greeter plays one last shrill sequence of notes on his flute before greeting the arriving Christie and Jodi. "You are the last team to arrive," Phil tells them. "Crap," says Jodi, out of breath. And just like that, they've gone from first to last to Philimination in just two legs. He asks them what they came on the race for, since winning clearly wasn't at the top of their agenda. Christie gets choked up as she says that she's about to start a family, and felt like she hadn't done anything for herself. So now she's happy. Which is a pretty grim way to look at starting a family, if you ask me. Jodi says she wanted to prove to herself that she could do it, "And show my daughter that she can be strong and independent and do whatever she wants to do in her life. "You can give your friend a hug, you know," Phil advises, for reasons that I'm sure are not at all pervy. Laughing, they comply. In their post-Philimination interview, Jodi says it's not about the money but the experience. "You couldn't pay a million dollars and have the same experience. It's just this weird thing that has a huge effect on your life and changes it, and we're better friends having gone through this together." And they didn't even have to buy backpacks.

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Amazing Race




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