Amazing Race
A Confederacy of Dunces

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
Gone with the "1"

Ernie uncertainly tells Cindy, "I give a damn." So they open the clue, read it and both get blur/gonged as they curse. Ernie explains after the race that he was like "Argh, now I don't give a damn." Apparently Cindy's the speed-typist in the family, with a typing speed that Ernie claims (with what may be some exaggeration) is 1,000 words a minute. He heads inside and settles down at a table. There's a Route Info clue on a credenza next to the wall, which reads, "These numbers are all the information you will need to find the location of the next clue: #44 - 715 - 74." So clearly the typing will be the easy part. Outside, Cindy is regretting not doing the Roadblock, and Ernie starts trying to figure out how to load the paper into the carriage. The musical score gets all dramatic, quoting that moment in The Matrix: Reloaded where Morpheus faces off against an oncoming vehicle with a samurai sword. Same kind of matchup here. "We get any support on how to operate this thing?" Ernie asks the impassive Southern gentleman, who has so little to say he might as well be a monk in Asia with no English, a vow of silence, and a paralyzed tongue. Ernie manages to get the paper in there and start typing, although it looks like the keys get tangled on "Route." Not a good sign.

At The other Dump, Jeremy is stating to share his suspicion that they're in the wrong place. "Is this used furniture?" he wonders. Well, at least he's finally getting a clue.

Meanwhile, in other failure news, Amani and Marcus make another disastrous landing, ending up with their fake plane straddled across a fake Peachtree Street, and Marcus actually punches the ceiling with both hands. Dude, don't break a multi-million-dollar simulator before you've even won one million. He apologizes to Amani, and she shrugs, "Nothing to be sorry about." Well, except that little tantrum, maybe. "It's not easy for a reason, otherwise they'd have tons of pilots," Amani says.

One of those potential pilots is out waiting on the front porch while Ernie continues to hunt and peck, only to hit a wrong key. "Do I get Wite-Out?" he asks the guy, who only raises his eyebrows ironically at him. For one thing, you'd have to use Off-Yello-Out, and for another, it's not like Margaret Mitchell had Wite-Out. All she had to work with was a manual typewriter and a big old jug of offended Wite-Privilege.

Jeremy finally leads Sandy out of The other Dump empty-handed. "We could be way off here," he says as they consult with their driver over the clue. And Cindy tells us she's bummed out. "I probably should have done this one," she says. Sandy decides they should keep asking. Brilliant! That's the kind of strategic thinking that kept them in second-to-last over and over. Ernie's latest sheet is crooked in the machine, so he starts over again. Jeremy and Sandy are reduced to intercepting customers on their way into the store. Fortunately they catch one with a Smartphone. Ernie's burning through his stack of papers while Jeremy finds something on the phone that the customer apparently just left with him. At least now they know they're going to the Margaret Mitchell house. "Gone with the Wind was written in the apartment Mitchell called The Dump," Jeremy reads.

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Amazing Race




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