Amazing Race
A Confederacy of Dunces

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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Gone with the "1"

The clue tells them to take a taxi to the Swan House. "When you reach the entrance gates, run to the Finish Line. Go, Go Go!!!!" Phil tells us "teams [although right now it's still just the one] are now racing to what might be the most recognizable landmark in Atlanta: Swan House." It's a grand old stone mansion that I guess Sherman couldn't burn down, and Phil's in the lawn on the giant mat as he tells us for the nineteenth time, "The first team to arrive here will win the one million dollars and The Amazing Race." Ernie and Cindy sprint back to Ben and their cab, telling him they need to get to the Swan House, "for all the marbles." Doesn't it seem a little early to be racing for the Finish Line, even taking into account the episode's late start?

Jeremy and Cindy arrive at Turner Field after that, and Jeremy is going up.

Ernie and Cindy are now passing through tree-lined streets, happy that Ben has a GPS. "As long as this is the place," Ernie cackles nervously. But then Ben misses a right, and the GPS in his hand intones that dreaded word, "Recalculating..." Ernie explains about the turn they missed, but Cindy says it's okay. "Just go fast." And recalculate faster.

Jeremy's up on the map, and he puts the rope through Taiwan despite Sandy's suggestion that he start at what is actually the Philippines. "And then we went to Thailand," she hollers out, also inaccurately. He clips on Thailand, and a check box appears under Thailand, with a glaring gap between it and the one for Taiwain, under the Indonesian flag. Then Sandy sends him to Malawi. "The little one, it's not coastal," she reminds him, narrowing it down to only eighteen possibilities. Jeremy has it, and then to Denmark. They'd better hope the little clips open so he doesn't have to unloop everything all the way back to Taiwan when he finds out it's wrong.

Ernie and Cindy are stuck behind a line of traffic on a two-lane residential street. That's bad enough, but now Ben's GPS is starting to spout nonsensical directions. It's probably confused by all the Peachtrees. Jeremy gets Denmark and Belgium, then Panama. And Ben's GPS is meriting its own subtitles now as it continues to repeat, "Recalculating." Ernie and Cindy are about to jump out of their skins. Remember, as far as they know, Jeremy and Sandy are still fifteen minutes ahead of them. They should know better by this point, but still.

Sandy directs Jeremy up to Atlanta, like he doesn't know. "Now what do we do?" she wonders. Jeremy pulls the rope tight and asks for a check, only to get a thumbs-down. He wonders if he has Thailand in the wrong place. "Where do you have Indonesia?" Sandy asks, like she brought it up before. I should probably admit that last week I stood before a large world map mentally tracing the season's route, as is my deeply nerdy habit, and I totally spaced the two Indonesia legs for a minute as well. On the other hand, that was two months ago for me as opposed to two weeks ago for them. Oh, and I DIDN'T GO THERE. Jeremy says they don't have Indonesia at all, but he easily pulls out a bit more slack and hooks it through without having to undo anything else. Which is a bit disappointing. "You didn't tell me Indonesia," he accuses. "It must have slipped," she non-apologizes. See how well they're communicating now? Whatever, now they're done. They get a clue and run back across the parking lot. "Maybe a taxi broke down," Sandy says hopefully. Jeremy doesn't bother to give that any response beyond a skeptical chuckle.

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Amazing Race

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