Amazing Race
25 Days, 50 Cities, And More Than 600 Consecutive Hours As A Family…

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 2 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Canada, dry

"This is eastern Montana," Phil says. And indeed, it certainly is eastern Montana. I generally have taken the position that western Montana looks like Oregon while eastern Montana looks like North Dakota, so I'd say it's an uphill battle to sell this as a gorgeous locale. We are told that in this part of the country, "cattle and sheep outnumber people by the millions." Which is why we're here, I suspect, given that cattle and sheep don't post spoilers on the internet, or if they do, they all just say things like, "Moo moo moo, moo! MMM! Moooo, moo. MMMMM, moo <3 moo." More specifically, we are at Green Meadow Ranch, the eleventh pit stop on a race…around. As Phil recalls the teams' arrival at the mat, we receive the not-shocking news that some Linz or another took the opportunity to demonstrate here that "eat, sleep, and mingle" should actually be "eat, sleep, and make like a rodeo clown with ADD." Phil explains that there will be no more eliminations -- we are just racing to the finish now. We see pit-stop eating for the first time all season, and to no one's surprise, the Bransens and Linzes are eating together while the Weavers are off in the corner being holy and praying that there is a good smiting ahead and that there isn't a Detour offering a choice between Judge Not and Be Judged, both of which would present a problem. Phil wonders whether the Weavers will continue to isolate themselves or, I suppose, whether they will be overcome by the spirit of community and start humping the Linzes' legs. I have a guess. Phil also wonders whether the Linzes and the Bransens will remain so buddy-buddy with all the money at stake. Somehow, I'm not seeing that turn ugly, with the boys pantsing Wally and whatnot.

3:04 AM. Wally and the Tonyas are the first team to leave. When they rip the clue, it sends them to exotic Montreal, Canada. Phil tells us that they have been not only told what flights to take but provided with tickets, but they can try for a better flight if they want to. I suppose that means there was no guarantee they'd be able to get anything at all out of Billings to Montreal if contingency plans weren't developed, but it's just another thing that makes the whole endeavor seem so incredibly cheesy. "Go here" is bad enough; "Go here, and use this flight" is another; "Go here, and use this flight, and here's your ticket, can we wipe your nose for you?" is worse yet. At any rate, when they land in Montreal, they'll take a taxi to a train station and find a "subterranean complex" that goes by the name "the Underground City," which looks suspiciously like the Minneapolis skyway system, which is not very challenging unless you get confused by Caribou Coffee and greeting-card stores. Then, they'll look through the "maze of tunnels" and find the basement of the CDP Capital building, where there's a clue box. As the Bransens leave, Wally is -- you guessed it -- dragging behind. Apparently, the flight they have is a Northwest flight that connects in Toronto, but they remind us in the car that they have the option of searching for a better flight. "We're ready to win a million dollars," a Tonya notes. Just once, I want to see a team open the final leg by saying, "Frankly, I'm prepared for anything but victory."

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Amazing Race

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