To Thine Own Self Be True

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Kim: C+ | Grade It Now!
To Thine Own Self Be True

Bradin wakes up in the middle of the night, all sweaty. His bedroom door opens, and Sarah appears, all backlit like an angel. Which should have been your first cue that this was a dream sequence. Sarah walks into the room, and I think she has angel wings on, although it would have been cooler if they made her appear like a succubus. Sarah tells Bradin that she's been lonely, and she tried calling, but Bradin's housekeeper doesn't speak English. Bradin protests that they don't have a housekeeper. You know, some shows do dream sequences well, and make it so that they actually feel like dreams. This is not one of those shows. Sarah and Bradin start making out, and Bradin has the most hilarious look of ecstasy on his face until Sarah breaks away and gestures to the other side of the room. Bradin looks over and sees Derrick creepily staring at them from his bed. Yikes! Bradin's alarm goes off, and he wakes up with a gasp. Did he just have a wet dream? Because, ew. The radio sets the stage for the rest of the episode when the announcer says that they're in the middle of a heat wave, because the writers don't trust the audience to understand that from the sweatiness of the characters, the repeated mentions of the heat, or the sun shining down brightly. Bradin immediately rushes off to take a cold shower, and the last time I saw this employed as a humorous plot device was on the The Love Boat and I was like eight and John Ritter played a horny guy who was always taking cold showers, and I only remember it because I totally didn't understand what was going on. After showering, Bradin calls Sarah and gets her really annoying and faux-woman-of-mystery outgoing message on her answering machine. He leaves a message explaining that he didn't call because he wasn't sure how they left things, then he mentions the heat again (Heat Index is now 2), and invites her to join him for surfing.

Ava walks into the kitchen and tells Susannah that she's found a marine biology camp for the kids to attend through August. Susannah asks what happened to not "structuring the kids to death," and Ava says that the heat happened (Heat Index 3), and it reminded her of all the bad stuff that can happen during summer. Besides cold showers, that's another sexual myth perpetrated by television and movies: that really hot weather makes people horny. Really hot weather makes people sweaty and tired and the last thing you want to do is touch another person. Unless there's a swimming pool or an air conditioner involved, which kind of cancels out the heat part. Susannah and Ava gaze out the window at Derrick and his new pal, Martha, who are looking at bugs. And then they hold hands. Aren't you still at the "girls/boys are icky" at nine? I think Derrick is hypersexual due to his frequent exposure to the hormonal adults in the house. Susannah says, "Although there is the issue of pesky older brothers," as Creepy Cult Kid hops into view and pretends to shoot Derrick. Yay! It's the return of Creepy Cult Kid! Maybe he'll convince Derrick to try suicide again. Apparently, he's Martha's older brother. The kids all play zombies while Susannah and Ava watch out the window and laugh.

Nikki sits on a bench in town and longingly stares at the other couples walking by, until Goofy pulls up on his bike. Goofy says that he's been back for two days, and Nikki's face falls. Goofy says that he wanted to call, but it was so hot (Heat Index 4) that he couldn't move. That is the lamest excuse I've ever heard. And I'm sure that Pony Boy's beautiful beach house has central air, anyway. Nikki decides to ignore the lameness (as she must) and says that she missed Goofy while he was gone, and invites him to hang out with her for the rest of the day. Goofy says he'd like to, but he needs to report to his new job. It was too hot to call her, but it wasn't too hot to go out and find a job? Goofy offers to give Nikki the employee discount (I'll bet) on a smoothie at his place of employment, and she responds by suddenly hugging him. Goofy looks surprised, but they smile at each other for a while before Goofy pedals off.

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