Pilot (1)

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Pilot (1)

California. Beach. A surfer attempts to get up on her board, fails, and plunges back into the ocean. She pops up out of the water's Lori Loughlin, TV's Aunt Becky! She makes another surfing attempt, and is more successful this time. She's persistent! She doesn't give up in the face of adversity! What character development. Lori grabs her surfboard and jogs up onto the beach, where she collapses onto a towel, smiling. She sure has a lot of eye shadow on for someone who just spent a lot of time in the water. And her hair is perfectly combed back. Merrin Dungey walks up and points out a hot guy nearby. Oh, dear. What is Merrin wearing? It's a sundress that makes her look gigantic, and the print is the same as the tiered-miniskirted dropped-waist dress I wore for my eighth-grade choral concert. Shut up. You had one too. Both the dress, and the choral concert. Although your chorus perhaps didn't sing "Footloose," and you probably didn't have to sing tenor because there weren't enough boys in the group. But enough about my teenage horrors. Lori and Merrin debate the merits of various surfers. Lori starts to peel off her wetsuit in order to go hit on the guy, but Merrin calls her "Sledge" and tells her to hold up. "Sledge"? As in Sister? Boy, that's not a labored way to indicate that they are good friends. Except that it totally is. Some guy runs out on the beach and tells Susannah (Merrin) and Ava (Lori) that their office called, and that their 3:00 presentation has been moved up to 9:00. Susannah and Ava are horrified as they rush into the house, complaining about their boss the whole way.

They reach their house, where yet another guy is sitting there playing guitar. He tells Ava, in an Australian accent, that she was looking good on her surfboard, but that she's not "committing to the wave." Ava retorts that it's difficult to commit to the wave when the wave is grinding her bones into the sand. That sounds dirty! She asks how to keep her feet on the board. Instead of answering "balance," Aussie Guy spits out some Zen koan about surfing. I notice that, in the background, the other male roommate is just hanging out in the hot tub. Nice life! Ava rinses off in the outdoor shower and smiles that she's glad they got that cleared up. That line should've been said with some sarcasm, but Lori Loughlin just doesn't have it in her.

Meanwhile, in Hogarth County, Kansas, a storm is brewing. Clark? Lana? Are you there? Inside a huge farmhouse, a mom yells at her daughter to wipe her feet before she comes inside. The dining table is set for breakfast, and there are birthday decorations hanging on the wall. The daughter complains about having to follow rules on her birthday, and the mom gives a typical mom response. Dad and Little Brother come in the house, and Little Brother excitedly talks about how there was a fish swimming in the barn. The sun is totally shining outside, through the rain, which kind of ruins the whole "flood of Biblical proportions" vibe they are working. Dad wishes Daughter a happy birthday and gives her a hug. Dad wonders where Older Son is. Older Son walks in, apologizing for being late, and there's a weird vibe where Dad and Older Son don't get along or something, but who cares, because the dad's about to bite it anyway. The family sits at the table and holds hands for a quick silent prayer before eating.

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