Sons of Anarchy

Episode Report Card
Sobell: A | 6 USERS: A+
An Eye For an Eye, and an Eyeful of Ass

Gemma has just realized that the reason she woke up in a place that looks like a Thai cathouse is because she woke up in something equally taste-defying: a central California cathouse. "You a pimp?" she asks. Jimmy Smits smiles, "I'm a companionator. I bring folks together. I'm all about the love." Gemma is horrified because "I did a spic pimp." Jimmy Smits is slightly more sanguine: "I did a drunken cracker MILF." That would be GILF, technically, but these two are still getting to know one another. Anyway, Jimmy Smits offers her Advil and coffee, which truly makes him a prince among drunken hookups, really.

Cut to Clay getting a phone call from Galen, who is justifiably nervous about SAMCRO's ability to run guns if their trucks keep getting set on fire. Clay's on it, which gives Tig, Chibs and Juice time to gossip about what a sad and wheezy old man the former president's become now that he's lost the love of a good woman and at least one lung lobe. Juice is totally mother-henning Clay right now, and Clay is letting him, which both Chibs and Tig find moderately unnerving.

Gemma has managed to pull herself together enough to creep downstairs, where she discovers that Charming's premier outcall service looks unnervingly similar to a cosmetic dentistry office. Nero's reading the paper -- we see a headline focusing on the rash of home invasions in Charming, so there's a subplot for the season -- and we finally find out that Jimmy Smits is going to be named "Nero Padilla" for the purposes of this show. We find out that Nero and Gemma's drunken assignation came about once they bonded over their heart ailments, and then Gemma fishes with, "You're surrounded by barely legal pussy. What the hell are you doing picking up old broads? You got some kind of granny fetish?" Nero introduces Gemma to the radical concept of keeping one's personal life separate from one's professional life, then gallantly adds, "Me, I like a little more patina on my precious metal." Nero continues to throw charm at Gemma, and she's all, "Do I tell him a about the homicidal biker I'm still married to, or do I wait until our second hookup?" (And since Gemma handed him her number, you know there will be a second hookup.)

Cut to Piney's poorly-attended "thing." Opie is there, having actually washed his hair as a tribute to the solemnity and tragedy of the situation, and he is understandably bitter about his dad being buried under the "Piney Winston, killed by the Mexican cartel" lie, and the fact that Clay's still breathing. Jax says, "I know you can't sit at that table, Ope, and I was wrong to ask you. I love you, Ope, and I want you in SAMCRO, but whatever you decide to do, I'm going to back you. I hope you know that." Opie says, "What I know is that the gavel turns shit around." Jax says, "I'm not going to turn into Clay." Opie snarks, "I'm more afraid that I'm going to turn into you." Jax has no reply to that, other than to roll his eyes. Which, really, shows remarkable restraint on his part.

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Sons of Anarchy




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