Sons of Anarchy

Episode Report Card
Sobell: A | 6 USERS: A+
An Eye For an Eye, and an Eyeful of Ass

Credits! Which now include some hoo-hah about John Teller, a scant five seasons into the mess his manuscript launched back in season one.

Morning has come to Charming, as it does in nearly every episode and we see that Jax is trying to walk his talk about holding on to his family: We get a shot of morning life at the Knowles-Teller household, where Jax is feeding a fat and happy Thomas while Abel sits and giggles, leaving Tara plenty of time to get ready without someone clinging to her calves. The two grown-ups have a little catch-up chat, the upshot of which is that Rat is about to become a new houseguest, which can only mean good news for the family food budget, as Rat looks like he lives off cigarette butts and not the mixing bowls full of Cap'n Crunch that Filthy Phil inhaled.

Jax then mentions that the club is doing Piney's "thing" today and graciously tells Tara she doesn't have to attend. She says, "I can't. I'm training my new replacement. Starting my new duties." Tara's delivery here is a pitch-perfect imitation of the condescending venom Gemma splashes out when she's feeling particularly bitter. Jax softly says he's sorry and Tara snickers before composing herself and saying, "Yeah, me too."

This is Jax's cue to step up and he comes over, dangling Thomas and saying, "I don't know how we do this, Tara. I don't know where it all goes, but we do this as a family. I can promise you that." Tara's placated, so Jax snorgles his boys, prepares to head out the door, then provides the opening for a bit of exposition: Tara has decided to put the boys in day care at the hospital, something which Jax was for, in theory, but wanted to delay until he had time to construct the underground, lead-lined chamber in which he planned to contain his mother and her nuclear fury once she learned she was no longer the boys' primary caregiver. Tara's all, "Well, an opening came up and fortune favors the prepared, so have fun breaking the news to your mom. Toodles!" Jax is all, I... do not even have the energy for this right now.

Speaking of Gemma, she's just discovered that she's awoken in a room decorated with Pier One by way of the Chicken Ranch. Why doesn't anyone ever wake up in a nicely decorated room, I ask you? Is it because people with exquisite design taste spend their nights reading about Ray & Charles Eames and so the odds that they'll pick up biker grandmas are pretty low?

ANYWAY. Gemma takes in the room, the two young women passed out all over each other on the couch, the fact that she has no effing idea where she is and, understandably, decides the only reasonable thing to do when Jimmy Smits comes into the room is to pull her ladygun on him. He raises his hands and asks, "Was I that bad?" Gemma barks, "Who the hell are you?" Jimmy Smits replies, "Wow. Really? You came home with me last night. This is my place." He readjusts his wifebeater and we see the impressive scar on his sternum. Someone knocks on the door and the ever-cool Wanda De Jesus comes in (seriously, I love her), assesses the situation and says, "Let me guess: J-Date?" "Something like that," Jimmy Smits deadpans. Anyway, Wanda De Jesus isn't here to judge. She's here to round up the two naked young women, who have morning "dates."

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Sons of Anarchy




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