Fall Pilot Season: Sons of Anarchy

by Mindy Monez September 4, 2008
Sons of Anarchy Premiere Blonde Hunky-Type gets a call on his cell, and answers, "Hey, Ma!" We see the "Ma!" on the other line is none other than Katey Sagal, chain-smoking, driving and talking, all at the same time! The IMdb page for this show lists her character as "Gemma," but I swear to God nobody calls her that even once in this episode. She asks him if he's gone to storage to pick up old baby stuff. She is also planning a dinner party for all the hooligans. She asks him if he's heard from his ex-wife, who was supposed to be sending him "the doctor bills," but he says he hasn't heard from her in weeks. So I guess that explains the urgency for the children's book and old baby stuff. Gemma says she'll check in on her. He calls her a grandmother. She calls him an asshole. I like it.

Now we see Drea De Matteo alone at home, lookin' like a straight-up crackhead, which we soon find out is exactly what she is. She ponders chowing down on some ice cream, but quickly decides that shooting up what appears to be crank is tastier. The camera pulls out to reveal she's pregnant, in case you needed to see it to believe it.

Now Clay is on a bench in Oakland, telling the guy expecting the M-4s that they're gone, along with everything else. Guy expecting the M-4s is not happy, but Clay explains that he deserves some leeway because he's never sold to the Mexicans, who are apparently Tough Customer's arch nemeses. This works on Tough Customer somewhat. Clay has until Sunday to deliver the guns, or Tough Customer will unleash black people upon Charming. Apparently, this is quite a threat.

Blonde Hunky-Type is in a garage now, playing with the aforementioned baby stuff (and a few big-ass guns, you know, for kids!) when he finds a manila folder of old photos of his parents, and presumably, his father in Vietnam. Then he finds the motherload: The memoirs his father was writing in secret, which reveal that he never wanted Blonde Hunky-Type (whose name is Jackson, we now know), to get mixed up in a life of crime. Sure, you tell him now.

Big Burly Biker is playing a guitar in some sort of rec hall, when the wimpy vegetarian comes in. Big Burly Biker calls him "Half-Sack," and another character asks him how he got that name. Half-Sack explains he got half his nuts blown off in Iraq, and shows everyone. Yikes. Then Clay, Braveheart Scar and some other biker dude come in, upset about something. They yell out for Jax, who is still thumbing through his dad's old crap in secret. He quickly stuffs it away and comes out to play.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7Next




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP