Sons of Anarchy

Episode Report Card
Sobell: A | 16 USERS: A+
You Can’t Spell “Recidivism” Without SAMCRO

Clay leads the crew outside, and because all the guys are in t-shirts, blue chambray shirts and jeans, it looks like a Gap-sponsored remake of Reservoir Dogs. Then we zip back into the prison, where a guard is bringing Big Otto his breakfast on death row (or solitary; potatoes, po-tah-toes, given the iniquities of the California penal system), and we see that for his morning repast, Big Otto is having hard boiled eggs with a side of razor blade. (And as he finds the blade, the lyric sings, "It's not the hand that cuts/ it's the heart he left behind/ It's not the hand that cuts/ it's the hatred deep inside." I need to turn on a light; it's gotten dark what with all the foreshadowing on the screen.)

Anyway, the boys head out to the waiting arms of their brothers. Opie and Jax rush into each other's arms. In a totally straight way, of course. Opie hands Jax his cut and tells him it's good to see him on the outside; Jax exposits, "Big day for both of us, huh?" "Wouldn't do it without you," Opie replies. These guys are one plot twist away from moving to Vermont and opening a dairy together. Chibs and Bobby Elvis have an affectionate reunion. Tig is grinning -- grinning! -- at Kozik and he says, "I knew you'd vote in when I was gone, you pussy!" Then they also hug. Clay's got his helmet on and he bids everyone to get on their bikes and ride. The motorcycles peel out, with one poor prospect driving the van behind them all. As everyone roars by Stockton, they wave -- no, wait, waving usually involves all the fingers on the hand, not just one.

Back in the prison, we see a pool of blood forming in the hall outside Big Otto's cell door. When the guard opens it, Big Otto falls out. Call me a cynic, but if Otto wanted to die that badly, he'd have stuck his wrist in the sink or toilet and bled out there. The man wanted to be found. But why?

Meanwhile, his brothers are tearing through the mountains, past the big slice of redwood bearing the legend: "Welcome to Charming. Our name says it all. Population 14,679." Then, as the club rounds a corner, they see heavy equipment at work clearing trees and moving ground, and a sign informs us that Charming Heights is coming soon: "New custom homes: Small town living, modern luxury." Your lyric accompanying this revelation: "What a thing to tell/ the poison in the well." Would you all like to know how luxurious these places are: "Granite accents, limestone detailing, teak and mahogany flooring options, Italian stone builders, customizable deluxe living spaces, infinity pools." I look forward to finding out how Hale & Associates (developers) and Oswald Construction (contractors) think they're going to convince the type of buyers who want masstige semi-custom options for their McMansions to sink their money into an area with no discernible tax base or commerce.

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Sons of Anarchy




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