So You Think You Can Dance

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Stop or My Grandma Will Shoot

However, the judges -- Nigel and Mary, anyway -- are on their feet, with Nigel yelling "yes!" He says it was entertainment at its best, lavishes praise on Joshua for being a popper doing Broadway, and Katee was enchanting or magical or something. Mary screams that they should come with a warranty: "Satisfaction guaranteed!" Then she screeches, and I can't hear anything else she yells because my eardrums ruptured. "I thought it sucked," says Mia, clearly kidding. She says it was amazing, praising their connection. "Your spirit is major. It's so loud, and your body is right there with it," she tells Katee, and calls Joshua a "force," suggesting he'll be right there with Will in the top four. And then Nigel talks some more about poppers doing what "they" (meaning stuffy white dance guys, I presume) do, they're a force to be reckoned with. So the judges were banoodles for it. I don't pretend to know anything.

Next up are Susie and Marquis. Marquis says she has lots of energy, but she always has an energy drink in her hand, and she needs energy like an Eskimo needs snow. She says his best feature is that he's a goofball, but he needs to lay off the chips because he's always in her face with the chip-breath. He says her crazy hair is always getting in her face. Her hair is "fierce."

They're doing a salsa by Alex da Silva, which is right in their wheelhouse, given that Susie is Cuban and Marquis is Puerto Rican. We watch Susie look absolutely terrified at having to do a move that involves some kind of handstand split thing. "She's not really a salsa dancer, she does street salsa," explains Alex. Susie overhears this, and bawls her eyes out, because she reads it as "She's just a street dancer," which isn't what he said at all.

They're dancing to "Aguanile" by Willie Colón and Hector Lavoe. I have all their albums! For a good portion of the musical introduction, they might as well not be dancing with each other. When they clinch and start the salsa, they seem pretty good. The much-anticipated handstand split is taken so slowly and highlighted so much that it seems labored. But they do a cool move in which Susie spins around from sitting on Marquis's shoulders to having her legs wrapped around his waist, still facing forward.

Mia pans it. She says she liked the choreography, but Marquis was too Jello-y. She also expected more from Susie, since this is her strength. Mary: ditto. She says she say more chemistry in Chemistry 101 in high school. Mary totally figures out something cutesy to say while she's watching a routine and then just waits to deliver it. Nigel also hated it, saying it should have been fiery, but instead the Puerto Rican fire department is going to be putting them out. They have no jurisdiction there! That's crazy.

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So You Think You Can Dance

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