So You Think You Can Dance

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D | Grade It Now!
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Blood on the Dance Floor

So the audition tour is over, which means there won't be any more of the truly awful, but we're in Vegas, which means a lot of backbiting, bitchiness and infighting. There are a hundred and seventy-two dancers here for Vegas Week, which means a hundred and fifty-two broken-hearted dancers will be leaving here. Cat is using the megaphone to tell these dancers that somewhere in the crowd is America's next favorite dancer. Could it be that guy? Or that girl? Could be. But odds are not. Look at all the judges! Mia Michaels, Lil' C, Adam Shankman and Debbie Allen are here. Nigel urges the dancers to "enjoy however long you're here." Which will be hard when later on Mia is ripping the dancers new assholes.

So we're going to see some solos now so the dancers can remind us, and the judges, why they're here. Or, perhaps, to make the judges wonder if they were drunk at the time they picked particular contestants. First up is Alex Wong, a ballet dancer in Miami, originally from Vancouver, B.C. He whirls around to some jungle rhythms. Apparently Mia wants to have sex with him, and Nigel makes a joke about how she's woken up. Mia's mouth literally hangs open, and she jokingly uses her hand to close it. This is what Mia likes about the contestants: she keeps getting older and they stay the same age. The judges aren't offering feedback for these solos, which is nice in that maybe it means we're just going to watch some good dancing.

Hip-hopper Tony Bellissimo, 20, of Buffalo is annoyed because he can't get his briefcase open, and it's apparently a prop in his act. But then I guess he does? He's nattily dressed in a suit, and he pops and locks to Rockwell's "Somebody's Watchin' Me," so I automatically give him an A, and the paranoia in the song is reflected by planted pictures of Nigel -- in his newspaper, in his briefcase, in his suit jacket. That's who's watching Tony! The other judges think it's a riot -- and it pretty much is -- and Nigel pretends to be irritated. He asks that Adam be included next time Tony does something, because Adam gets jealous.

Montage of good dancing, the only dancer whose name I can remember right now is Phillip Chbeeb, but I will rectify that as soon as I possibly can. The solos wrap up by five, and then all the dancers are called up on stage, where Nigel frankly tells them that after bringing all the dancers from their respective cities and seeing what they have to offer, it's clear the dancers aren't as good as the judges thought they were (let's remember this for a couple of episodes from now when we start getting told that this season's talent is the best ever). Nigel says he was asked if any dancers would be cut after that day's solos, and he said he didn't know. It was probably a lie when he said that; at any rate, he says some of them will be going home now. But if any one of the judges wanted to keep a particular dancer, he or she will be staying.

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So You Think You Can Dance

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