So You Think You Can Dance
Season 8: The Top 14 Perform

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A+ | Grade It Now!
The Funk of Laziness

Before we get into the show, I have been informed that when Nigel said that Chris did a good job dancing like a woodpecker, he was incorrect. That was actually Robert, who Nigel then sent home. I didn't correct Nigel in the recap because I made the classic mistake of thinking the Executive Producer knows what he's talking about on his own show. Also I was impatient to see who was going home, so I wasn't paying too much attention. Who knew something interesting was going to happen there? It's not like Ryan Seacrest ever says anything worth noticing when he's stalling at the end of an American Idol.

The judges tonight include Carmen Electra and Travis Wall. Everyone's delighted to see Travis, who appears to be wearing an aubergine velvet tuxedo. I'm going to assume that Ms. Electra is here because her ex-husband Dave Navarro told her how much fun he had being a judge on Rockstar: Supernova. But Cat makes Carmen tell us about how she's been dancing since she was five, majored in ballet and modern dance in high school and was "Miss Dance Ohio" at one point. People major in things in high school? Carmen's story ends with "And ... Pussycat Dolls." I'm not entirely comfortable with the number of shout-outs the Pussycats Dolls have gotten so far in this season. Cat takes a moment to verbally pinch Travis's cheeks and gush about how cute he is. And he's delighted to be here as a judge.

Cat reminds us that she has a big Fourth of July party at her house for all the dancers past and present (which sounds like just the best time ever, doesn't it? Wouldn't you love to go to a Cat Deeley party?) and then gives us the usual rundown about the evening's festivities. There will be two group routines that the judges won't comment on. However will the voters of America know what to think if they don't have Nigel Lythgoe and Mary Murphy there to guide them?

First up, we have a new choreographer named Justin Giles. He's got the seven guys, and this dance will represent the seven stages of grief. That sounds weirdly complicated, and it leads to a lot of shenanigans about what "acceptance" and "denial" look like. Because I failed to do proper fact-checking last week, I feel obliged to point out that the Kubler-Ross model has five stages of grief, not seven. The official list is Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. The list we have tonight is Shock, Anger, Denial, Depression, Guilt, Bargaining, and Acceptance. So they're out of order and have bonus Shock and Guilt involved. A lot of these guys appear to have done a lot of sit-ups, by the way.

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So You Think You Can Dance




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