So You Think You Can Dance
LL Cool J Performs, Two Are Eliminated

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William, It Was Really Nothing

The incomparable Common provides the soundtrack for a futuristic-looking hip-hop group dance. The dancers are in black and shiny gold, green blue, red and purple. The dance in rings, they dance in lines. It's like Kirk and the Enterprise have landed upon a planet of dancing aliens. Aliens that look just like humans but wear "futuristic" costumes.

Cat comes out in a toga-looking dress to tell us that Chuck Maldonado choreographed that routine, in his first appearance on the show. I pick up the picture of Shane Sparks on my nighttable and stare at it wistfully.

Cat asks Toni how hard it is to master all the different styles of dance. Toni talks about how hard it was for her to learn street. Also, there's a lifetime of dances, and no one can master them. Cat's all, yeah, but enough about you, as long as the dancers have passion, right? Toni talks about how dancing is an addiction for her. "I think lots of people here feel the same," says Cat. Nice work, Cat.

Nigel blathers about how he got a call from somebody online who's jealous that ninety-seven million votes were cast for this show, and wants Nigel to entreat the viewers to vote for the most important vote of all. No, not which Mountain Dew flavor to keep. Vote for president! The audience cheers like shirtless Will just strolled out on stage. You can even register on that newfangled "online" that everybody's talking about, says Nigel, all "what a country!"

Cat calls Katee to the stage, and we watch an extended montage, because we need the eliminations to fill out an hour. Katee's safe. Will's up next -- he's one of the bottom two. Really? As is Comfort. Mark comes up next -- and he's safe! He's clearly shocked. America removed the knives from his back, the ones with Nigel's fingerprints on them.

Chelsie's called up on stage next -- she's safe, which means Courtney's in danger, not that this is mentioned. Instead, Twitch gets called up on stage, leaving behind Joshua and a very glum Courtney backstage. Upstage, Cat tells Twitch he's in the bottom two, and he -- seeming very phony, I might add -- overreacts, crouching on the stage. Joshua comes up next, but we already know he's safe. Someone put Courtney on suicide watch, all by herself backstage now! When next we see her, she's gone all "fuck this" and has plopped down in a chair. Cat calls her up on stage to commiserate.

Aubrey Morgan and Eddy Tovar of the Los Angeles ballet come out to dance a pas de deux from The Man I Love. The stage is washed in blue, and the pair of them (especially her) practically float across the stage. It's a nice illustration of the distance yet to go for reality show contestants on the road to a successful career. I mean, it's like watching Daughtry, and then Springsteen shows up to sing "Born to Run," and you think, "Oh, that's how it's supposed to look."

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So You Think You Can Dance

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