So You Think You Can Dance

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A | Grade It Now!
One Step Closer to Death

Okay, where are we? Well, I don't know about you, but I'm in a hotel room in Indianapolis, resting up from a day of Gen Con. If you don't know what Gen Con is, I'll just say that it's the geekiest thing in the world, which means that it's awesome. However, since I'm in a hotel room, I don't have my Tivo to help me out. So I'll be doing this weecap ALL THE WAY LIVE. Let's do it!

Okay, we're ten seconds in and I've already tried to pause the broadcast. Thanks a lot, TiVo. Okay, we've got some sort of peculiar dance going on here. I'm not sure what to make of it. Nice costumes, kind of herky-jerky ... I think I'm going to guess that it's the work of Sonya Tayeh. One thing I like about it is that dancers are going offstage occasionally, so sometimes there are only a few and sometimes the whole stage is clogged up with dancing. It's a nice dynamic. Cat comes out to end the fun and report that it was not Sonya at all but Dee Kaspary, if I'm spelling that correctly. Which I believe I am. Cat would also like me to be excited about the guests tonight. It's not working.

A word or two of welcome to the judges (including Tyce, who doesn't feel that much like a special guest since he's here every week, just sitting in a different seat) and we're on to the National Dance Day package. Nigel goes to Washington and says, "God bless America" for some reason. People all over the country danced, apparently. Oh, there's Seattle! Now I'm homesick. Okay, that's enough of National Dance Day.

Nigel claims that the finale will feature something from NASA. And he'll be tapping again, which I approve of. I like having the judges on a show do some dancing on the finale. Oh, and they'll be redoing the Alex/Twitch hip hop routine with a surprise guest replacing Alex. How do Alex fans feel about that? It seems a little harsh. I mean, it was a great routine but I kind of think of it as Alex's high point on the show and watching it again with Alex taken out ... well, it better be a really cool special guest, that's all I have to say.

We're not even pretending to be about the results yet. First, we have to listen to Janelle Monáe, who has an interesting aesthetic. She's god a sleek tuxedo and her drummer is wearing a flight helmet. And her hair is such an extreme pompadour that it looks like she's a Fusco Brother. She and all her backup dancers have classy two-tone shoes and no socks. I don't even know what to make of this. It's a bit like Big Band, I think. I'm kind of getting into it. The song would like everyone to do the Tightrope, I think. But everyone's got their own dance style, so even if I wanted to do the Tightrope, I'm not sure how I'd go about it. Okay, I'm going to declare this performance Interesting. Nice work, Janelle Monáe. Now get off the stage so we can get back to business.

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So You Think You Can Dance




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