Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | 25 USERS: A-
The Amazing Lost Lord of the Survivor Flies

Then the sad music from Amazing Race plays as Harpreet and Berglind get there. Harpreet explains that they went off the path, and then does the standard speech about how he's a competitor. Also, Berglind is disappointed. Too bad!

Aussie Host walks out from behind a tree and huddles everyone up. He announces, "As would have happened a hundred years ago, some settlers would have died or never made it." During the two-mile walk from the helicopter? Dang, people in 1913 were a lot more fragile than I thought. It was probably the flu. So Berglind and Harpreet are out. So long, dummies. They walk under a sign that says "Farewell SIBERIA." You know, at least Berglind was doing this so she wouldn't be following everyone. Harpreet was still a follower; he just chose to follow somebody with no idea where she was going.

Okay, now that we've spent all that screen time on two characters who are no longer on the show (normal for a reality show, but unacceptable for a dramatic series), let's move on with the ground rules for this show that claims to have no rules. There's a giant metal box with klaxon horns on it. Aussie Host says this is the "Revealer," and it will occasionally disgorge help. And if anyone wants to leave Siberia, there's a safe zone with a big red button. If you cross the line on the way to the safe zone, you forfeit. He doesn't say what happens if you walk around the line, which is only like five feet long. There's allegedly no support staff on site, so the safe zone is the only place to get help. So this is a show where no one steps in if a contestant falls in the fire. Where do the camera people stay? What do they eat? Aussie Host has no more details. Instead, he says, "There are no other rules on this show. Settlers, welcome to Siberia."

Everyone has brief talking-heads on how they feel about there being no rules. Some people like the idea and some don't. Victoria, the contestant in charge of ironic foreshadowing, says, "We don't want a Lord of the Flies situation on our hands."

With the ground rules out of the way, let's get back to the sleeping arrangements. Esther (a model from Australia) does not want to sleep on the floor. I suspect that nobody does, but Esther throws a big tantrum about how she got there first. Irene argues with her, saying, "No one saw you get here first." How could you? Whoever gets there first is there before anyone can see them. Esther goes off to hang out with the boys and then Irene mopes to the other women.

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