Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | 25 USERS: A-
The Amazing Lost Lord of the Survivor Flies
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We open on a mountain ridge. It's covered in trees and not that much snow, which disappoints me. I may not know much about Siberia, but snow figures prominently in my mental picture. And there's a helicopter that contains several blindfolded people. The whole thing is scored by generic "exciting" music that's almost exactly midway between Survivor and The Amazing Race. The blindfolded people get out of the helicopter and are led in a line down to a field.

An Australian gentleman with whom I am not familiar announces, "Sixteen total strangers stand before you." They're in a real-life social experiment with no games or rules. That sounds terrible, doesn't it? I like rules. They help define the experiment. Anyway, they're trying to win $500,000, and the only way out is to forfeit and go home. They got on a plane eight hours ago in London and they don't know where they are. They look pretty together for people that have been flying for eight hours.

They remove their blindfolds. Aussie Host tells them this is a completely new adventure and the playing field is "The Siberian wilderness." It's so wilderness-y out here that there aren't roads between the cities. They'll have no modern conveniences and will have to live like people did a hundred years ago. And again, if they survive the winter, they'll split $500,000. And the crazy part is that there will be no interference at all. They're just being dumped here with a camera crew.

So what's going on here is that this is a scripted drama about a fictional reality show. And so far, everything is being presented as though we're watching the reality show, but I don't think they can continue that through the whole season. I don't know how they can fully Blair Witch this thing, since there's eventually going to be a problem with the camera crew.

Back to Aussie Host, who is not at all a ripoff of Phil Keoghan. Phil is a New Zealand Host, which is completely different. This Entirely Original Aussie Host tells the contestants that there's an old fur-trading settlement two miles due east. It was abandoned by fourteen inhabitants a hundred years ago for no known reason. And it's been restored to exactly the state it was in when it was abandoned. So it sounds like a perfectly safe place to set a reality show! There are red flags marking a path through the forest, and the last two contestants to arrive will be sent home immediately. He said there would be no games! And now we've got an elimination challenge right off the bat. This is an outrage. Also, although everyone packed for a wilderness vacation, they don't get to bring their bags. Well, that isn't much of a twist. Survivor does this all the time.

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