Siberia
“…Into the Oven”

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: D+ | 122 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
And Then!

When the lights come back on, Sabina gets the gun, which is a good idea. Even Miljan doesn't object to the truck plan now. Johnny and Sabina go outside to check the lay of the land. Sabina says her gun is empty, so Johnny has to run for it. But at least military trucks don't have keys. He gets to the truck and brings it around. People pile in, and then there are gunshots. They're being shot at! Johnny drives away, but there's a figure running to catch up. It's Annie!

Okay. The next shot is a soldier taking aim. The cameraman is standing directly in front of the barrel, focusing in on the soldier's head. It's a very pretty shot, and it would work great in any other show. But in this show, where the camera crew allegedly exists in the world, it means the cameraman's about to get shot instead of Annie, which is what actually happens. She falls, and Johnny drives away. Of course, we see a shot out the back of the truck, and there are no cameramen there. This show can't remember its own premise from one minute to the next.

Driving: everyone is sad, especially whoever picked the violins on the soundtrack. Irene asks if there's water, and Esther makes sure that Daniel doesn't open the wrong bag. The thing on top is Annie's sketchbook. She drew all the rest of the cast. Now they're even more sad.

And then! The truck fishtails into a ditch! Daniel tells Esther that it's probably only a couple more miles to town. Everyone tries to push the truck while Johnny guns the engine. Esther offers to switch places with Johnny, because he's a better pusher. We see her give a sly look to the camera as she settles into the driver's seat. So naturally, when the truck moves, she just drives away. Suckers! Miljan is the only one who isn't surprised. He tells them that she got the five hundred million dollars out of the Revealer. Ah, very clever. I actually like that she stole something valuable that wasn't useful as survival supplies, and also that we got to find out what she stole. Everyone wants to know how Miljan knew that, and he tries to keep them focused on the subject of Esther screwing them. That's good thinking, because I think the answer is going to be something like "He learned it psychically from his totem pole."

Another shot of everybody walking through the snow. At least they all picked up winter clothing somewhere along the way. They spot a town in the distance. And the road looks so well-used that there's not even any snow on it. That should make it easy to get there. But when they get there, the town is all rusted out and empty. Is this one of those Potemkin villages I've heard so much about? It's got abandoned cars to go with the empty buildings, so it appears that someone lived here at some point. Sam has found a notice of evacuation, telling all the residents to leave immediately and go to the nearest military camp. They find a shoe store with a phone, but there's no dial tone.

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Siberia

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