Sherlock
The Empty Hearse

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 659 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
I Don't Shave For Sherlock Holmes

The problem is that John never looks his impostor waiter in the face. Sherlock's words grow more desperately obvious, like when he likens a champagne selection to "a face from the past." He even whips off his stolen eyeglasses, but John remains oblivious and simply decides to go with the recommended bubbly. Sherlock tries again. "It is familiar, but uh... with the quality of surprise." Sherlock's voice rises on the last word and he makes a little flourish with his arms, but John still hasn't looked at him. He hands off the menu and tells the "waiter" to surprise him. Sherlock snits, "I'm certainly endeavoring to, sir," and swans off.

Once John is alone at the table, he takes out a small velvet case and opens it to reveal a diamond engagement ring. It's a lovely and perfectly respectable piece with a modest, but by no means small, center stone flanked by two slightly smaller ones. Still, American readers will feel me when I say that had this show been made Stateside, we'd now be looking at an improbably large, flawless stone that would be well outside John Watson's means, as well as most of our own. What I'm trying to say is that I appreciate this touch. That is the ring this John Watson should buy. Well played, Brits.

Mary (Amanda Abbington) returns to the table and apologizes for the delay. John smiles and shoves the ring in his pocket. It's not long before he tries to get right to business, but he is awkward as he tries to word and frame his proposal. He's not a question-popper, that's for sure. Mary knows what he's going to ask and takes an understandable amount of pleasure as he struggles to do this just right.

Just as John is about to get the words out, Sherlock returns to the table with the champagne, and immediately begins to babble. Mary bites a finger to keep from laughing. Again, Sherlock slathers on his own subtext as he describes his champagne selection. "It has all the qualities of the old, with some of the color of the new." Subtlety, thy name is not Sherlock.

John tries to shoo him away. Sherlock continues laying his clues. "Like a gaze from a crowd of strangers. Suddenly, one is aware of staring into zee face of an... old friend." He again removes the swiped spectacles. John looks up and says, "No, seriously. Could you just..." before his eyes meet Sherlock's. Then Martin Freeman performs some sort of magic with his face that would turn the most powerful sorcerer in the world pea green with envy. He's stunned. He's shaken. He jumps. He gulps. He recoils.

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Sherlock

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