The Empty Hearse

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 659 USERS: A-
I Don't Shave For Sherlock Holmes

Eventually, John's floodgates open. He admits asking Sherlock not to be dead. He strokes his tormentor/best-friend's ego as he tells him he's the best and wisest man he's ever known. "Yes, of course I forgive you." Fade to white.

Sidebar. Cutting away from the last scene to the next, is a big mistake, in my opinion. It's mostly why this episode gets an A-, rather than an A+ or A. Oh well.

Sherlock is in Anderson's flat. Anderson films him as Sherlock explains how he faked his death. He and Mycroft imagined the 13 possible scenarios that could play out between him and Moriarty on that roof. Sherlock never counted on Moriarty killing himself to force Sherlock's hand. There was a vast conspiracy involving Mycroft, Molly and faithfuls among Sherlock's homeless network. They had an airbag in place to cushion Sherlock's landing. Molly had a corpse that resembled Sherlock thrown onto the sidewalk so that John would see a body. Once the biker took out John, the corpse was removed and Sherlock lay down in its place. Helpers squirted him with blood. Sherlock placed the squash ball he'd been bouncing under his armpit to temporarily block his pulse. Molly falsified the death records. Ta dah.

Anderson considers all this for a moment and then starts up with the that's not how I would have done it business. Remember, I'm a Lestrade type: I have no patience for that. So while I feel for Anderson (who, by the way, faked up the Skeleton Case), I also enjoy his epic meltdown as he tears down the evidence and theories tacked to his wall.

We return to the train car. Having made a clean confession, John braces for the explosion that never comes, unless you mean Sherlock's explosive laughter. John calls him an utter cock, like you do, and makes Sherlock swear never to reveal that he pulled this over on John. Sherlock eventually tells John that there's an off switch. "There's always an off switch." John asks why Sherlock let him go through all that. Sherlock deflects with more mockery. Soon, John spots approaching flashlights, and realizes Sherlock even called the police ahead of time.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel, Moran is arrested. Hurrah!

221B Baker Street. The next day, Sherlock is home when he gets a call from Mycroft, who is suffering through Les Miz. Eventually, John arrives and asks Sherlock to come to the living room. Mrs. Hudson is there, as are Mary and Greg, and it's champagne all around. There's laughter about the interrupted first proposal and we're promised a spring wedding. When Mary asks Sherlock if he'll be there, he tells her weddings aren't really his thing. You don't say. Molly arrives with her boyfriend in tow. Unsurprisingly, he is a Sherlock clone -- right down to his coat and scarf. Somehow, somehow, Sherlock manages not to say a word, as Molly introduces Tim. Poor Lestrade looks crestfallen.

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