Secret Diary of a Call Girl

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B- | Grade It Now!
Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

Belle meets her coworkers at some kind of upscale... place? Could be a restaurant, so let's pretend it is. When she arrives at the restaurant, they're reading a website devoted to reviews of prostitutes. Belle's reviews include, "This girl has a decent body, but sadly she has no idea how to use it. No amount of prodding on my part would persuade her to get even a little excited -- the word 'frigid' springs to mind." Ouch! On the other hand, one of the other reviews on the screen calls her "a sexy bomb ready to explode." But I don't think she saw that one, because now she's hung up on the idea of getting a bad review.

It's 11:59 pm, and Belle is in bed. There's a call from her agent offering a 42-year-old nonkinky architect. Belle doesn't want to do it, even though he'll be coming to her place, but the agent (did she ever get a name and I just forgot it?) points out that if she's getting bad reviews, she should be taking all the work she can get. So she gets up, brushes her teeth, and tells us that work's been a bit slow.

The architect is named Louis (or possibly "Lewis") and seems a bit off-kilter. He hands over the money when he's meant to just be giving her his coat. When Belle goes off to call her agent to tell her she's safe, he objects. He doesn't want her calling anyone, since he feels that he's paid for her. He demands that she take her clothes off and she tells him to go. Even after she's offered a full refund, he keeps coming toward her. Finally, he grabs his money back and stalks out. Belle locks her door and breathes heavily while leaning against it.

When Ben arrives at that club he works at, he finds Belle sitting in a pretty nice chair. It's practically a throne. He complains about Vanessa and her obsession with napkins shaped like doves. He picks up on her acting freaked out and she starts to tell him about Louis. Just then! Her phone rings and its the agent saying things like, "If that's the way you talk to your clients, no wonder he complained." It turns out that Cleo didn't want to see him anymore, so he got dropped on Belle. Belle calls her agent a pimp (which seems fair) and hangs up.

Belle looks at the camera and comments "What a difference a year makes." We flash back to Belle's first encounter with the agent, so I guess she's only been on the job for a year. For some reason, it is not tinted blue. The first question is "A-Levels"? That turns out to mean "Do you do anal?" but I'm pretty sure those were separate lines on the checklist last week. Hang on for a second.

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Secret Diary of a Call Girl




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