Whores Don't Make That Much

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B | Grade It Now!
Buffy Versus Castiel
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Heya, everybody. I've not been shy about sharing that the hiatus adversely affected my enthusiasm for Ringer. This episode has aroused some of the pleasure I previously enjoyed in my guilty little pleasure show. The only problem is, I am so annoyed by the current public discourse on female sexuality, that I'm suffering an enormous hate-on for the official episode title. Between you, me, the lamppost and the world wide web, this episode will always be known to me by my homepage headline, "Buffy Versus Castiel." Get it. Got it? Good! Now the champagne is chilled. The bubble bath is bubbly. There are leftover Valentine chocolates on the vanity, right next to the trashy magazines. I've surrounded the tub with candles, so we're bathed flattering light. Put your hair up, and sink deep down into the tub, and let's indulge. One. Two. Three. Plunge.

The consensus in our show thread is that we're tired of the opening segment, so I'm not wasting my time on it. Sorry, Boo-boo faced Buffy, but I'm fast forwarding. We open on Bridget showing Malcolm Shiv's secret Harlem office. In the two days since Bridget was there, the place has been cleared out. Bridget tells Malcolm about the key on the silver boat-shaped keyring, and about the woman's footprints Solomon found in the closet. Malcolm finds this worrisome, so he installs a tracking application on his cell phone and Bridget's. "Now we'll always be able to find each other." For a second, I think I'm writing about Once Upon A Time, because Prince Charming's big line to Snow White is, "I will always find you." Yes, the shows are totally different, but my writing times for them overlap, so I'm usually working on both shows at once. I have three kids home on vacation this week. And? Some of the main OUAT characters are named Henry, Emma, and Kathryn. On Ringer we have Henry, Gemma (RIP, Red), and Catherine. I get a little dizzy, is what I'm saying. Anyhow, Nice Buffy gives Malcolm a big thank you hug and tells him he's the best.

Over at Park Ave...

Andrew: I am dapper, darling and you don't really care about this financial mumbo jumbo I'm blathering into the phone. Just enjoy my me-ness.

Elevator: Ding!

Catherine: I'm here, and I might even be sober.

Ginormous Photographic Shrine to Shiv's Vanity: I'm just looming over everyone.

Catherine: So, ex-husband, how about I take our kid, you know -- the one whose baby pictures I burnt up -- in front of her -- just days ago. How about I take her back to Miami?

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