The Poor Kids Do It Every Day

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B- | 2 USERS: A+
The Count of 3 Isn't a Plan. It's Sesame Street.
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Welcome back, everyone. I know some of you have just been hanging in there, waiting for Jason Dohring (Logan Echolls on Veronica Mars) to appear. Your patience has been rewarded, so let's get to it, shall we?

We pick up right where the last episode left off, so Bridget is still only two weeks into assuming Shiv's life. I mention that, because people keep wondering how long she can fake this pregnancy (unless Bridget is also pregnant). In the show's chronology, it hasn't been all that long. Bridget tucks in an already sleeping Juliet. Andrew finally arrives home with Juliet's contrivance aspirin. He tells Bridget that Gemma called to tell him something important. "The thing is, when I got to the Butler's, Henry told me she wasn't there. That's a bit odd, right? The thing is, she sounded a bit off when we spoke, and so did Henry, for that matter. You wouldn't have any idea what she wanted to talk to me about?" Maybe how you're overusing "the thing is?" Bridget: "Not a clue." Girl, I hope you are wearing some preternaturally strong Depends under that black peignoir set. Andrew suggests Bridget call Gemma in the morning and make sure she's okay.

Gramercy Park: Henry bleaches the blood off his walls, cleans up the broken vase, and tosses the evidence in a trash bag, in a terrifically cheesy montage that ends with him glaring into the camera, and me making an appointment to get my cholesterol checked. Title card.

Park Ave., Morning: We hear Gemma's voice mail greeting: "You've reached Gemma. Don't be boring." I kind of love that. Bridget leaves a loaded, "I thought we came to an understanding" message ending with, "I would like to be the friend to you that my sister never was... if you'll let me." My word, she says too much in recordings. Andrew and Juliet enter the room, arguing about her short-shorts which he deems inappropriate, particularly on her first day of school. He's not exaggerating. I think I just accidentally gave her an internal examination. Bridget chimes in that they are a little "fabric-challenged" and everyone, everywhere, who ever watched at least 3 minutes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, yells out, "BUFFY, I TOTALLY KNEW IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME!" And then half of us whisper about the fabric challenged mini-skirts Buffy favored, especially in Season 1.

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