Shut Up And Eat Your Bologna

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | Grade It Now!
My Bologna Has A First Name. It's GEMMA!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Tiny bubbles in my soap. Tiny bubbles make me feel dope. Okay, sorry, but I just think this week's episode did everything a nighttime soap is supposed to do and it made me a little high. Let's get right to it, shall we?

Park Ave, Day: Later in this episode we'll learn that six weeks have passed since Bridget first went to Shiv in the Hamptons. Maybe that matters less now that Andrew knows "Shiv" is "no longer" pregnant, but I still like to keep track. We open on Bridget and Andrew making out in their bedroom. Sadly, they're sitting up and fully clothed. And no, I have no idea why wardrobe has my pretty Buffy in that one shoulder brown blouse crowned with a bloom of butt-ugliness. She's tiny, blonde and attractive. It isn't that difficult to dress her, people.

Anyhow, Andrew wants to take his "wife" on a fabulous vacation with world-class beaches, just to make sure I keep on loving him, and so I do. Poor Bridget suggests "Lauderdale?" Andrew laughs and declares Turks and Caicos is the place to be. He also brings back the wedding gown that Juliet damaged during one of her hissy fits, and tells "Shiv" that if she wants to have a go at wrecking Juliet's wardrobe, he'll turn a blind eye. But since Bridget is the kinder, gentler Siobhan, she refuses. She starts to panic when Andrew goes to store the gown on the top shelf of their dressing room, because that's where she has Officer Jimmy's gun. She manages to convince Andrew to let her take care of it and sends him off to the kitchen, so that we can have an...

Answerful Flashback, Wyoming: Office Jimmy enters Bridget's motel room. She clocks him and cuts his head. Surprised when her intruder turns out to be her body guard, she asks Jimmy why he's sneaking in her room. He tells her she can't trust anyone, neither the cops nor the feds, so he's asking her to run, now. I KNEW IT (well, sorta). I definitely suspected there was something more to Bridget's escape from protective custody. Jimmy tells Bridget to flee to her family and tries to give her his gun. She refuses it. When she leaves the room to gather her stuff, Jimmy hides his gun in her bag, because he needs to explain how she got away. I'd still like to know how Jimmy managed to duct tape his own damn fool self in the shower, but am so glad we got these answers.

Present, NYC: Bridget calls NA Charlie and asks him how she can get rid of a cop's gun which could be traced back to her "sister." Jimmy offers to take care of it, saying you can't max out good will. He's busy making a sandwich, and once he's done, he throws down his knife. It lands tip first in the butcher block table. What is he, the Braveheart of 12 Stepping?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP