It's Called Improvising, Bitch!

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | Grade It Now!
I Knew It!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Hey my bouncy little Ringlets, this penultimate episode of Ringer flies fast and furious, so buckle up. Mama's putting the hammer down. Previously, on Buffy the Undercover Vampire Slayer: This is the story of two sisters who share the same face. Bridget Kelly witnesses a murder. Agent Victor "Guyliner" Machado wants her to testify. He'll protect her. Bridget tells Guyliner he doesn't get it. "If Bodaway wants me dead, I'm dead." Bridget runs to her twin sister, Siobhan Martin, for help. Bridget voices-over that Shiv killed herself, but we all know she very much did not. Bridget assumes Shiv's identity. Henry "Tool Belt" Butler kills Tyler. Oksana, the maid who let him into Tyler's room, is willing to testify. Shiv tries to bribe Oksana. That fails. Guyliner figures out that Catherine Martin is behind the attempts on Bridget-as-Shiv's life. Catherine dopes Bridget's tea. Bridget stumbles off into the other room.

Now we get a repeat of last week's final scene. Bridget stumbles into the other room. She's looking for her phone or something, but she accidentally looks in Catherine's purse. When she sees a big C keyring, she realizes her mistake, but then finds the dead hitman's cellphone. She flashes back to shooting the hitman, stowing his corpse in a foot locker, finding the phone and threatening the guy who wants phone back. She tells him that if anything happens to her, that phone will go straight to the Feds.

Back in the present, Catherine finds Bridget in mid-collapse. Catherine asks, "Find what you're looking for?" Now on her hands and knees, a clearly addled Bridget whispers, "It is you?" She falls all the way to the floor. The cell phone lands beneath a chair. Catherine stands over Bridget and spills out the spent sleeping pill capsule shells. Bridget struggles to keep her eyes open. Catherine crouches beside her. She grabs Bridget's hair and lifts her head up. "Why so down, Siobhan?" Done with her taunts for the nonce, Cattie lets Bridget's head slam to the floor.

Using a computer, Catherine types out a suicide note from Siobhan then goes in the bathroom and practices being shocked that Siobhan would kill herself when she and Andrew seemed so happy. Buffy fans flash back to when Faith assumed Buffy's body and practiced her, "That would be wrong," line.

With her rehearsal over, Catherine saunters over to the tub, where fully-dressed Bridget is lying unconscious. Catherine then has a flashback to explain why she so hates Siobhan. This whole season has been a primer on reasons to hate Siobhan, so this is overkill, but what can you do. Flashback to a cocktail party, eight months ago. Shiv announces to Cattie that the Martins are putting the Miami house (in which Catherine lives) on the market. Shiv enjoys rubbing it in Catherine's face.

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