Episode Report Card
Kelsea Stahler: C- | 35 USERS: B-
Same Old Story, Same Old Song and Dance
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We open on Emily destroying the infinity symbol her father carved on the porch -- the one she rubs her fingers over every time she questions why she does anything. Naturally, we learn that it's the work of another blackout. Only Emily isn't willing to get medical attention; she tells Nolan that she needs to finish what she started. When Nolan is confused, she delivers that one-liner ABC has used on every Revenge promo for months: "I'm gonna kill 'em all."

Meanwhile, Stevie is set on earning her place in the Hamptons back. First, she visits Jack as he gets the news that he lost his house due to an all-cash offer. Stevie begs Jack to hear her out and offers him a box of photos of her with Jack as a baby. She says that Carl Sr. sent her mementos over the years like sailing ribbons and such so that she could bear being away. But when she inevitably chalks her absence up to a "secret" that's too "complicated" to reveal, Jack tells her to leave.

So she then moves on to Grayson Manor, to make sure Victoria is packing things up. Of course, Victoria thinks she can get her lawyers to pull some shady tricks to get her to keep the house. Too bad Stevie is a big-deal lawyer who knows that Victoria's legal team is full of it. How could Victoria be so sloppy?

Somewhere on Long Island, Patrick is attending Jimmy Brennan's memorial service at a dive bar. Because he's got a death wish, Patrick decides this is a great place and time to declare Brennan a rapist and spit on his photo. He gets his ass handed to him quite literally, but for someone who just got "beaten bloody by a bunch of thugs" in the previous scene, Patrick sure looks good when his mother shows up to reprimand him. Still, it leads Victoria to the right conclusion: Patrick doesn't care if he lives or dies.

Because he's got nothing else going on, Daniel hires a private investigator to follow Emily and find out what she's doing with Conrad. He doesn't need one for the man himself because he's got Charlotte planted in Conrad's office as his intern. Conrad's fake daughter playing his Gal Friday? Not creepy at all.

After Aidan gets a little intervention chat from Nolan, he decides maybe he'll forgive Emily for trying to kill him after all and help her break out of her new self-destructive pattern. When Emily sneaks into Conrad's South Fork Inn room with a choke wire in her hands -- part of the "kill 'em all" plan -- Aidan comes in just as she scurries under the bed. He knows her well, so he reaches under the bed and pulls her out. Next thing she knows, Emily is tied up in a warehouse with Aidan, who says she's safe from herself and tells her he's going to use Takaeda's favorite memory-jogging technique to get her to see the truth. He grabs her and dunks her in a tank of water. Apparently, this is a gesture of love in this freaky revenge-driven world.

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