Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: B+ | 37 USERS: A-
Nobody Expects the Poisoned Bathtub
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Reign: Henry locked Evil Anne of Green Gables in the tower while he went to Rome to legitimize Bash. Bash and Mary tried to help Bash's pagan cousin, Isabelle, escape the castle, but she went into labor, delivered her baby, and died. But not before she was able to mark the baby as a pagan.

A few days after Isabelle's death, it seems, Jeanne, the nursery worker, has brought li'l Paganette to see Mary and Bash. Mary asks for a moment alone with the baby and looks at Paganette's foot; the mark Isabelle put there is fading and soon they can shlep her off to a convent. But Bash still frets, wild-eyed. He's worried that someone finding out about his pagan connections will put Mary at risk (as if we needed a big blinking sign over his head that says THIS ONE IS NOT LIKE FRANCIS). Mary just cuddles the baby and sniffs her head and explains the plan for Agnes (she's Jeanne's mom), to take Paganette to a convent. This is everyone's solution: convents! Jeanne comes running back to inform them that Henry has returned—and he's brought Medicis.

In Evil Anne's horrible tower room, she's sullenly choking down a plate of porridge when the door opens. Servants bring in a couple of extra chairs for Francesca and Pietro, Evil Anne's relatives. Francesca is just horrified to see the conditions Evil Anne is living in—and how ratchet she's let her hair get. Francesca explains that the Medicis are opposing Henry's petition for an annulment, and they were successful in getting the pope to refuse to see Henry. With that avenue of escape from his marriage thwarted, Francesca coolly explains, Henry now plans to have Evil Anne executed for committing adultery.

The servants fixing up Evil Anne's room also bring in the executioner's block as Pietro explains that a couple of Henry VIII's wives practiced putting their heads on the block so they could be dignified when he executed them. (I can't quite imagine Natalie Dormer doing that, but that's mainly because in my alternate-history version of The Tudors, she smothered Henry to death with her thighs and went on to rule England as a heathenish pit of degeneracy.) Neither Pietro nor Francesca seems particularly bothered by the possibility of Evil Anne's execution, even as they smile placidly and say they'll do everything they can to help her. Evil Anne just gulps and stares at the block.

Sexy Nostradamus! He's alive! And he's being thrown in the dungeon, because he's the one Henry is accusing of sleeping with Evil Anne.

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