For King and Country

Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: C+ | 41 USERS: B+
The Bastard Who Would Be King

But we're still at this sticking point: Francis's life or Bash's. Francis tells Mary not to let superstition rule her life and pleads with her again to marry him, before Evil Anne or Nostradamus can pressure her. Mary hollers about how Francis is pressuring her, and he swears he'll accept the risk to his life. He thinks it's her grief over Aylee talking. But she walks away from him, again.

Back in the throne room, Mary tells Henry she takes neither of his options. Instead, she'll follow the Franglish Plan—but she wants to marry Bash. She demands that Henry legitimize him and put him next in line to the throne. Evil Anne grinds her teeth so hard one of her molars vaporizes.

Both Henry and Evil Anne have vast objections to Mary's idea, but Mary points out that bastards are being legitimized all over Europe, and she thinks the Vatican will go along with it, too. The pope, Paul IV, is virulently anti-Protestant and desperately doesn't want the English throne to go to Elizabeth I. So Mary says she'll go after the throne, but she'll only do it with Bash. Henry agrees to make Bash a duke or an earl, but Mary rejects it. Henry points out that he'd have to have his marriage to Evil Anne annulled (he'll probably have an easier time with that now that the pope isn't her uncle), and won't Evil Anne have something to say about that?

Mary thinks Evil Anne might be okay with her plan (since it will prevent her from marrying Francis). Henry, of course, has no reason to believe that. Mary curtsies and excuses herself so Henry and Evil Anne can shriek at each other.

Evil Anne hates this idea, because obviously she did not bear ten goddamn children to Henry and bury three of them and almost die herself so she could be shunted aside, powerless. She thinks Mary conspired with Diane, which is totally news to Henry. Evil Anne reminds us that Kenna told her about the legitimacy plot, and Evil Anne used the knowledge to blackmail Diane into leaving the castle. She also thinks that's why Bash left with Mary, because he was afraid of what Henry would do when he learned of the plan. Henry's eyes are just goggling out of his head at this point.

In her room, Mary has filled the surviving girls in on her plans so far. Greer is all teeth and fakeness, while Kenna is sitting off by herself and sulking. She asks where Mary's plan leaves her, since if Henry legitimizes Bash, that will mean he marries Diane. And that will put Kenna out in the cold. Come on, Kenna. He's not going to stop liking teenage snatch just because he's married. Kenna wails selfishly for a while, then says she thinks Diane poisoned Aylee, causing her to fall. She explains her suspicions and points out that Aylee's death was what convinced Mary of the truth of Sexy Nostradamus's prophecies.

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