For King and Country

Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: C+ | 41 USERS: B+
The Bastard Who Would Be King

Mary and Bash have found themselves a room at an inn. They huddle by the fire, trying to warm up and dry out, and Mary asks if Bash thought Evil Anne found out about Diane's legitimizing plot. He does. She turns to fretting that Francis will think the worst of them running off together. He says in the morning they'll find horses and sail from Calais, then tells her to undress—since her clothes are still soaked. She tells him to turn around and starts undressing (and she would definitely need help with that. That's what Greer and the others were supposed to be for).

Bash ogles Mary's naked shoulders for a moment, and then there's a knock at the door. He can tell by the sound of heavy boots that it's not the innkeeper, so Bash tells Mary to hide. She jumps under the bed just as two men in armor burst in and ask where Mary is. Bash lies that he left her in Calais, so she's certainly halfway to England by now. They notice the women's clothes Mary just took off, though, and threaten to cut off some of Bash's fingers if he won't tell the truth. Mary pops out from under the bed and tells the men to stop, which they do, but they won't release Bash, since he's a French subject rather than Scottish. They drag Bash away and Mary follows, helplessly.

Castle. The soldiers take Bash to the dungeon and leave Mary in the front hall. Francis trots up like a baby horse just figuring out how to use his legs and asks glassily if either of them is hurt. She just shrugs, and he starts rambling about how he still loves her and totally would have come to Scotland for her. I feel like all of Francis's descendants, had he gotten the chance to sire any, would have had girlfriends in Canada, you know?

Mary tells him he's prattling on like a twit, but he keeps at it and so they have the same argument they've been having forever, about how he doesn't love her more than he does France (which is understandable, as being the chief of France's fan club is kind of his only purpose in life), with the only difference being that now she has Aylee's death to throw into the mix.

Francis demands an honest answer for why she left, because he was willing to give her everything—even his life, Mary says, and that's why she can't marry him. A page interrupts and summons Mary to Henry's presence. Just Mary. Francis flollops off to cry into his sword collection.

Throne room. Mary wants to make peace. The only peace Henry will accept is if Mary weds Francis and claims the English throne (which we shall henceforth fall "The Franglish Plan," in the interest of expediency). Mary refuses, and Evil Anne observes with amusement that women don't usually say no to Henry. But since Mary isn't just any woman, she's a queen, he'll have to negotiate with her. Henry puts Bash on the table as the first bargaining chip. Mary insists that Bash did nothing wrong, but Henry claims there are witnesses who'll swear she shared a bed with Bash. Mary rashly tells him to go ahead and ruin her in France, but Henry threatens to have Bash killed, and let's see how the Scottish people like the idea of their queen whoring off and then getting her lover killed.

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