What About Blob

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B+ | Grade It Now!
What About Blob

For a change of pace, we find Sam at The Bench at night. He's type-type-typin' away on the computer. Andi walks up and asks him if he's ready to leave. The whole gang is headed out for a night of -- say it with me now -- karaoke! They make a cute plan to rock some "Bohemian Rhapsody," and Sam flashes a flirty smile. She tells him not to take too long, and he says he'll only be 10 minutes, which of course means that something will delay him.

Everyone leaves, and Sam begins to flip off the lights. He hears a suspicious noise just as he cuts off the last light, leaving him in the dark. He pulls a typical horror-flick move and shouts out, "Hello? Is anybody here?" His investigation takes him to the Garden Center, where he notices a hole burnt into the top of the chain link fence. He looks up and sees the silhouette of a demon descending. As it lurches toward him, it transforms into a Fed-Ex-style messenger. Devilivery Guy is here to hand off Sam's contract -- a thick book that looks to be hundreds of thousands of pages long. Devilivery Guy begins the time-consuming intake process -- "Sign here…initial there…" -- making Sam nervous about missing karaoke with Andi. Sam even desperately invites him to tag along, plugging the half-off Jello shots. Unsurprisingly, Devilivery Guy couldn't care less, and the signing continues, we can assume, late into the night.

The next morning at 667, JBL tosses Froot Loops on a sleeping Sam. One even lands in his mouth and nearly chokes him to death. So sayeth Miss Dionne Warwick: "That's what friends are for." JBL asks what happened last night, and Sam says he had to sign for three hours. JBL asks what he plans to do with the contract, and Sam says he'll try to find a loophole. So far, though, it's been tough since the contract is a convoluted mix of legalese and Latin. As Sam gets out of bed, he slips and smacks his head on the floor, then slides all over his bedroom floor. STW alert!

The Prius rolls into The Bench. Sam gets out of the car and face-plants again. Ultimately, JBL has to help Sam walk through the parking lot. This means they must hold hands like lovahs, much to the consternation of The Bench's older clientele. But JBL is here, and he's queer, so get used to it! Sam asks what he missed last night. JBL answers that it was awesome, then quickly reneges. Sam prods JBL as they walk inside. As they enter, JBL gives in, gesturing to Andi, who is sitting in the food court with Greg, that collegiate Lothario. JBL says Greg showed up last night and bought everyone drinks. More importantly, he chatted up Andi on the couch. JBL then drags Sam to the back room, where he duct-tapes Sam's shoes so he'll stop sliding. Sam knows that it looks like he blew Andi off. JBL says that he "knows some people" who can take care of Greg. But Sam's all, "Dude, I know The Devil."

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