Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!

Perhaps the writers are as eager as I am to pick up the pace, because we enter in media res as Sam runs downstairs, shirtless, with a toothbrush in his mouth. He makes the mistake of drinking orange juice with a mouthful of minty toothpaste, but there's no time to dwell because he's late! He heads out to the Prius, fiddling with his keys, but before he gets them in the door, they disappear. And with that, we have our Secret Talent of the Week -- making things disappear. I have a strong inkling this could be put to much better use than it will be.

After an unsuccessful search, Sam takes a taxi to The Bench. The driver asks for his money, but -- you guessed it! -- before Sam can pay, the money disappears from his hands. Then Sam's wallet disappears, too. He spots Ben rolling carts in the parking lot and tries to talk to him, but Ben ignores him. Is Sam invisible?

Or were the writers just stoned? Because, in the next scene, Ben and Sam talk as though that encounter never happened. As Ben clocks in, Sam tells him about all his stuff disappearing. Ben pulls Sam's keys from his own pocket, saying they randomly appeared about 20 minutes ago. Sam explains that each time he has a soul to reap, he develops an STW (he calls it a "Devil Power") that points him in the direction of the escaped soul.

But we shan't dwell on actual important information because JBL has set up some primo jackassery. He's rigged various Work Bench products into a makeshift mechanical bull. He rides it like the glorious fat boy that he is, proclaiming, "Gravity's my bitch!" Gravity's all, "Oh no he di'in't!" and throws his doughy ass into a paint can display. Cut to Ben and Sam rinsing off a Pollocked JBL with a power sprayer, paying special attention to his crotch. As the kicker, Ben pulls Sam's wallet out of a can of paint. It's not explored, but I would bet money (Sam's, of course) that JBL has a little extra Cheetos money this week thanks to Sam's earlier mishap with the taxi driver.

Inside, Sam walks up to a man examining the decorative tiki torches. Sam begins to help him, when the customer suddenly spears Sam in the gut. Except he doesn't. It was all in Sam's head. Nonetheless, Sam screams bloody murder. The poor sap decides to explore patio adornments elsewhere. JBL piddles over, saying a new vessel has arrived. He offers Sam a piggyback ride to ameliorate the stress of just getting not-stabbed, but Sam declines.

This week's vessel box is creepier than usual -- with hear-no-evil gargoyles on it. Refreshingly, Sam skips the whining and moves to open it, but the box jumps and emits an unholy noise, as though something lives inside. Before The Stooges can investigate further, Andi approaches and asks what they're doing. Sam quickly escorts her outside, where she mentions a Flaming Lips concert that weekend. She wants Sam -- and the rest of the gang -- to come. They plan to slumber party in JBL's uncle's van. (I have a feeling JBL's uncle is named Matt Foley and that his van is conveniently located down by the river.) During the planning process, we learn that Andi snores like a 50-year-old man, and Sam drools.

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