Coming to Grips

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
All Hands on Deck

"Hey Joe" plays as we pan in on Seattle, though the city is obscured occasionally by what appear to be black wings flapping across the screen. In a land of flying demons, what could that be? A note on "Hey Joe": Among the many ways in which that song is excellent, it's not song for humping. And yet, when Sam ejects the mix CD (do people still even make those?) on which "Hey Joe" is burned, it's on a CD entitled "Sock's Tunes 4 Humping." Let me tell you, nothing gets me aroused quite like infidelity and homicide.

So Sam replaces JBL's humptastic CD with some emo song and calls Andi to confirm their dinner plans and assure her his cooking won't kill her. He heads to the kitchen where there's quite a spread -- we're talking a whole chicken and a mélange of fresh produce. Unfortunately, he doesn't get the chance to work his culinary magic because a black-clawed creature grabs his head and tosses him across the apartment like a rag doll. The creature stalks toward and has him held up by his neck in no time flat. "Why?" asks the demon. Sam insists he didn't betray the creature.

Minutes later, the demon -- still in full-on scary mode -- is helping Sam prepare dinner. As you might suspect, demons are really good at de-boning chickens. We realize the demon is Tony as he tells Sam he's leaving the city for the country cottage that he and Steve owned together. He brood momentarily over losing Steve, but picks back up when he mentions that the cottage will be perfect for waging war on WiseGuy.

Andi walks up and catches the tail end of Sam and Tony's anti-diabolical conversation. (Don't you just hate when that happens?) She heads inside, but Tony has vanished. Andi asks whom Sam was talking to, and he claims he was reading the cookbook with personalized voices for each ingredient. As Andi enjoys the food aroma, Sam embraces her tightly so she won't turn around and see Tony's giant demon tail hanging behind her.

The next morning, Andi and Sam set up a lunch date as they walk into The Bench. Sam finds Ben laughing at JBL, who is now back with Josie and looking pretty whipped. Ben congratulates them for having strong, intelligent women in their lives and kvetches about his lack thereof. JBL offers his yenta services, so Ben pulls out a list of his future girlfriend's must-have traits. For the record, she must be funny, smart, and independently wealthy; have piercing green eyes, delicate wrists, and masseuse training. So far it sounds semi-reasonable (forgetting that Ben and all his friends are total losers...). But then, he tops off the list off that she should be a fan of mixed martial arts and Sue Grafton (shout out to The Office!). JBL and Ben tell Ben, that, yes, everyone would like such a fine specimen of woman, but that his expectations may be a little off kilter.

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