Ashes To Ashes

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Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
Ashes To Ashes

The Stooges carry a carpet out to the parking lot, and Sam updates them on Grayson -- his chop shop was eventually found out, sued, and shut down, so he killed himself. Sam's afraid the families of all the people will die if they don't collect all the ashes. Ben says that would be an impossible task, but JBL says nothing is impossible. Methinks hijinks are a-comin'.

The Stooges arrive at the house of one of Grayson's victims' family members, and finagle their way in under the guise that she won a carpeting contest at The Bench. JBL distracts her while Sam and Ben grab the urn and pour its contents into a plastic bag. A montage follows in which Glad bags are filled and old folks rub various body parts on the carpet samples. One by one, the names are marked off the list.

After the hard work, JBL proposes they down some tequila, but Ben says he has family obligations. The guys harass him about not inviting them to his family party, but explains that his grandmother is an unforgiving matriarch. He is worried that he's the family's black sheep, since he was supposed to be a priest but instead works at The Bench. The guys promise they won't go to the party. Yeah, right. As they pile into JBL's car, Sam makes sure to set the record straight that JBL is more embarrassing than he is.

JBL drives Sam home. Sam tries to get the ashes from him, but JBL promises to store them properly. Then he peels out of the driveway, inspiring no confidence at all. WiseGuy startles Sam as he heads inside. WiseGuy is pissed at Sam for desecrating people's remains. Sam gives WiseGuy his rationale, but WiseGuy tells him to find the soul and put him away, stat. He warns Sam to stop worrying about the living and start concentrating on the dead.

Sam tries to curtail this talking-to, but WiseGuy continues that he's been under the gun with Mimi Cooper. He asks what Sam has been telling her. Sam calls WiseGuy out for letting Mimi Cooper put her life on hold for him. WiseGuy says his conscience is clean, but Sam counters that he has none. Then, WiseGuy menacingly tells Sam to stay out of it, do his job, and keep his mouth shut -- "or I will shut it for you." To wit, Sam's mouth is briefly stitched closed. When it reopens, WiseGuy has vanished.

Inside 667, Sam's dad (remember him?) enters Sam's room. Sam is holding the necklace he tried to give to Andi, and they discuss Sam's self-professed state of limbo. Dad encourages Sam to keep with it. But when Sam says they've known each other for five years, even Dad has to admit that his son is kind of a spineless loser. He says Sam can always hope for a miracle. Sam asks if he should wait, but Dad is reluctant to say one way or another.

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