Real Housewives of New Jersey
Twas the Fight Before Christmas

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Party Animals

Previously: Lauren felt left out. Bratshley was the demon spawn of Jacqueline's womb and some guy who wasn't Chris. Kathy and Teresa had problems. And Melissa invited all of them to a party that is invariably going to end with fireworks -- not the good kind.

Teresa, Juicy Joe, and the family decorate the Christmas tree as Teresa asks Gabriella what Christmas means to her. As you might expect, it's not about Jesus or family togetherness. That bitch is about presents. This understandably concerns Teresa since she and Juicy have had to declare bankruptcy in recent months. She moves right on down the line, asking Milania what Christmas means to her, but she's too busy slapping Audriana for sucking on the glad ornaments. This does not concern Teresa so much. Gia asks if Joe and Melissa Gorga will be part of the holidays. Teresa says they will, then interviews about the "bad energy" between her and Melissa. "Alls I know," she says, "is that every time Melissa leaves, I get a headache."

Meanwhile, little Gino is dancing with the creeping shimmying Santa while Melissa talks about her bigger-better-more Christmas. She tells us that the Gorgas always have two trees -- the big amazing one, and the fake one that Joe likes because it doesn't shed. She carries on about the "huge, incredible" party they're throwing for Jesus' birthday. She wants everything to be perfect, which will be a hell of an uphill battle since Joe can barely get the Christmas tree on its stand. And I'm talking about the fake one.

Back at the Giudice abode, Teresa wonder when all the speculation and tabloid fodder will end for them. And I quote, "Now I know how Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie feel." Piling on to the delusion of that insane statement, Joe insists, "We're not in trouble." In case you didn't gather, this is a typical coping tactic. Teresa tells us that, when Joe had to go to jail for 10 days for drunk driving, he told the girls he was going on a fishing trip. Teresa says they don't want the girls to remember anything negative from their childhoods. Good luck with that! Joe tells Teresa to focus her energy on the people who were there for them during the hard times. Specifically, that does not include Kathy and Rich or the Gorgas. Teresa says she and Joe are finally in a good place and tries to keep Juicy from talking trash about her brother. Kathy is not mentioned further. Juicy tells her to focus on him and her kids.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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