Real Housewives of New Jersey
True Love, True Lies

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
"You & Your Hat: Shut Up."

Joe: "What should I say?"
Richie: "Just use short words."
Joe: "There was never any doubt about that."

Joe: "My new theory is that this has to do with Juicy. With Juicy doing the time-tested Sleeping With the Enemy thing of cutting his wife off from everybody she knows or loves."

Right, because Teresa has no agency and makes no choices in her own life to act like a beast all the time. It must be because she's being mind-controlled by Juicy Joe. A man who couldn't give less of a shit about any of this if he actually lived in the next town over. I'm not saying their relationship isn't sick, because it's sick and getting sicker, but I don't really think either of them is the Patient Zero here. Any more than I think going to therapy with Teresa Giudice would do a damn thing to change the situation. Therapy is like, some people are too smart to be affected by it -- the Will Hunting scenario -- because they outwit the therapist. And then way down on the other end of the bell curve, which is literally a curve shaped like a bell, you have ... Gorga stock. You have what the Gorga family has produced.


Somebody: "Lauren, who would you be in Titanic?"
Lauren: "As you can tell by my hat, I would be part of the aristocracy."
Juicy: "Actually, you'd be... Never mind."
Everybody: "Oh, I hope he says something horrible. I really think somebody decimating Lauren Manzo emotionally would be an amusing change of pace."

Lauren: "Just don't compare me to the Unsinkable Molly Brown."
Nobody: "I understand that reference, and it is valid! Well done. Whereas the truth is that you'd be the person everybody would trample on their way to the lifeboats."
Gay Brothers: "Just say it! Just say the horrible thing! It is the only time any of us like each other is when we're bagging on Lauren! Take part!"
Juicy: "You know the one with all the money that talked too much?"
Everybody: "Ha! The Unsinkable Molly Brown! Delightful!"
Lauren: "Okay, like I just said that?"
Caroline: "No one listens when you speak. No one will ever love you. You deserve nothing."
Juicy: "I'm just saying, you're like a younger fatter version of Kathy Bates."
Caroline: "Uproarious!"

Lauren: "Honestly, I miss Ashley. At least when everybody shit on her she was asking for it, because she is the worst. I'm just like this ... Chinese Daughter nobody wanted, and because I'm the smartest person in the room, you all resent me."

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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