Real Housewives of New Jersey
True Love, True Lies

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
"You & Your Hat: Shut Up."

Caroline: "Caroline Manzo dances. But not on bars. I'm somebody's mother."
Unspoken: "...Specifically, two Somebodies. Trust me, if it were just Lauren I'd be dancing on bars all the time. Because I'd have nothing left to lose."


Jacqueline and Teresa find their way to a giant statue of Buddha. Teresa babbles out some fucking nonsense and Jackie's dancing to music only she can hear and just sort of repeating back whatever words she can puzzle out of Teresa's babble, and then T gets the text from her brother Joey about the creepy couples therapy. It takes her even longer to read it out loud than it did for him to peck it out one letter at a time.

Jackie: "Do you realize I have my own fucking life?"
Teresa: "No."
Jackie: "That checks out."

Teresa, verbatim: "I know, 110 percent, [that] I don't need therapy."
Jackie: "...Sure?"
Teresa: "I mean, why would I go to therapy?"
Jackie: "Good point, Teresa. Why indeed."

Teresa: "I just feel like he's dredging up the past. I don't carry grudges."
(Jackie: "That's all you ever have, are you kidding me?")
Teresa: "Maybe he should go to therapy with Melissa. That's what my husband says, anyway. That I don't need therapy. That Joe and Melissa are the problem."
Jackie: "I do feel like maybe Juicy is part of the problem also."
Teresa: "Are you telling me to get a divorce?"
Jackie: "Uh, no. But it's interesting that you said that, out of nowhere."

Teresa explains for the millionth time that Juicy won't let her go to therapy because they are Italian.

Jackie: "So like what do you even want? All you talk about is your relationship with your brother and wanting to fix it, but then when anybody brings that up, you start talking about your husband and how he doesn't want you to fix it, but when anybody brings that up, in turn, you just start talking about unrelated nonsense."
Teresa: "Jackie, stop telling me to get a divorce. It's not going to happen."
Jackie: "I didn't."
Teresa: "Why are you telling me to go to therapy? That's not going to happen."
Jackie: "I'm literally just standing here being adorable and not saying anything right now."
Teresa: "I feel like you're not listening to my crazy ranting!"

Jackie: "It's amusing to pretend that I give a shit. And I suppose pretending to be supportive is one way that I retain my sanity with this weird troll constantly climbing up my leg about nonsense. But it can also be tiring. Because girlfriend makes no sense, at all."

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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