Real Housewives of New Jersey
There Arose Such a Clatter

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C+ | Grade It Now!
Second Degree Manzo Slaughter

Previously: Happy birthday, Jesus! We got you Kim G.

We return to the Gorgas' party just after Melissa and Joe escorted Monica Chacon out. The mood is festive, and Teresa is gratified. Alas, Kim G. is still swilling champagne in the background. Ironically, Melissa thinks Teresa and Kim G. don't get along because they're too similar, like "secret sisters." How do you say pot and kettle in Italian, again?

Either way, Teresa and Melissa are dancing and having fun together while Kim G. is in the background stirring the pot. The best part is that she says that Melissa wanted Monica "O-U-T." If you're going to pick a word to spell in some sort of weird attempt to be sneaky, maybe one with more than three letters is a better pick? I mean, the Gorga-Giuidice clans aren't the smartest (sprinkle) cookies in the world, but I'm pretty sure they know that one. On her end, Teresa is keeping it classy, knocking Kim for her duck lips. In the background, Caroline comments that Kim is trying to create drama between Teresa and Melissa, and you can tell she's getting fired up.

Melissa, Teresa, and Joe take a picture, prompting a comment from the wingnut gallery. Awesomely, Lauren's all, "Stop stirring the pot. You're pathetic." Caroline jumps in, and I'm not sure where the rage wells up (something about Christopher's friendship with Kim G.'s son?), but next thing you know, it's raised voices and Christopher trying to escort Kim G. out of the party. Christopher, albeit very aggressively, takes Kim G. out as smoothly as possible, even giving an earful to her bodyguard -- why she needs a bodyguard, don't ask... also, he's geriatric. How effective is a 60+-year-old bodyguard (who's not Clint Eastwood or Sylvester Stallone)?

Teresa and Juicy Joe, who were leaving when this all went down, get a front-row seat to Christopher's al fresco heart-to-heart with Kim G. That is, until Albie angrily storms out and shuts that biz down. Of course, Bratshley has to get her moment in the sun as she walks back into the house muttering, "Just like Danielle... just like Danielle..." Oh, shut it, Bratshley. In any case, Caroline tells Kim G. that she obviously came to mess with everyone and that she should keep going on her grinch-y way. In the background, Teresa gloats that she and Juicy are going to go home and make love all night -- something Kim G. only wishes she could do. With Juicy? Don't know if I'd go that far... Teresa smugly interviews, "I don't know why Kim G. got kicked out, but I'm glad it has nothing to do with me. Ding dong, the witch is dead. Buh-bye, Kim G!" Melissa says she's not sure who gave the Manzos the right to kick someone out of her party, but she's okay with it since the Manzo boys were doing it to honor Caroline. She says, "Joey, Gino, take notes," in hopes that her boys will do the same.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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