Real Housewives of New Jersey
The Jersey Side Step

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Oh BLK Water, Keep on Rollin'

We then catch up with the BLK Water crew again. Chris Manzo is driving the BLK van to DC, while Albie, Christopher, Greg and a couple of other friends clown in the back. The boys want to work AND have fun, but Chris is determined not to let that happen. This is because it's his money that's sunk into this thing, and if I'm not mistaken he's had some shady business dealings as of late. So, he's very invested in the success of this project. Greg wants to play "Fuck, Marry, Kill," and Christopher puts forth the winning threesome of Kim D., Kim G. and Kesha. Albie gets the winning combination, saying he'd kill himself. Christopher introduces the other guys in the van -- Gianluca, his best friend since 3rd grade, and Joey, who is their cousin. Albie explains that the past couple of months have been a lot of work, and a lot of travel, and none of them have made a dime. They've all had to dip into their savings to cover expenses, so if BLK fails, they'll all fail. And... wait. What do Christopher and Albie have savings from? Their allowances? And speaking of failing, the crew stops into a restaurant on the road and Christopher and Greg partake in a challenge to eat a truly disgusting amount of food -- two giant double burgers with scrapple on them (if you don't already know what scrapple is, consider yourself lucky) and two pounds of fries -- in 45 minutes. Neither can do it, and now everyone has a pukey van to look forward to. Just wash that shit down with some BLK Water! I'm sure that will make them feel great! It's full of alkaline fulvic trace minerals, after all!

Back at the Gorga household, Joe whips off his shirt and tells Melissa he wants a quickie. And, wow. If you want to lose any trace of sexual desire, just watch this scene of Joe kissing Melissa's feet and talking about how he wants her to help him release the poison so she'll dance a little better at Beatstock. And then Antonia comes running in and tells her parents she's scared. ME TOO, KID. She wants to sleep in their bed with them, which I guess she does all the time? I don't know, it's stupid and staged. Way to traumatize us all with something that doesn't advance the plot OR involve a screaming match about Teresa.

And then, back to the BLK caravan. As the crew enters DC we hear Greg chant, "My president is black. My water is black." Great catchphrase! I'm sure it will fly off the shelves. The guys talk about wanting to have fun on their last night before work sets in, but Chris is anti-fun. He tells them that they can each have one drink. They arrive at The Russia House, where a whole lot of vodka is available. Chris orders water, which makes Christopher feel a little guilty. The conversation turns to Lindsey, as it is wont to do, and Albie tells us that although he's not really interested in having a girlfriend at this time when he must focus so intensely on work, he knows he can't pass up a girl like Lindsey. And then the conversation turns back to vodka, and the boys all do a whole bunch of shots while Chris looks on with disdain and tries to give them some uncle-ly advice. And then Christopher pukes. Chris tells us that at times when he's worked with family, it hasn't worked out. If someone isn't pulling their weight, it could be a problem. What if they're pulling their weight in puke and scrapple? Yeah, still a problem, I guess.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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