Real Housewives of New Jersey
Strip Down Memory Lane

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Strip Sliding Away

When we return, Kathy and Melissa head outside to get some air and have a chat. Melissa recounts the situation with Bald Guy and his specific accusation of stripperdom. Kathy interviews that she doesn't care what Melissa did or didn't do. She and Joe have everlasting love of the kind that only a demonic devil (slash blazing moron) would want to ruin. Melissa tells Kathy that all of the bad stuff coming her way is Teresa-generated.

Meanwhile, Caroline and Jacqueline talk about what an obvious set up this is. And then freaking Joe Gorga and Richie show up looking for Bald Guy. Melissa is all, "I TOLD you you didn't have to come!" even though she really kind of did. She's an even worse actor than Teresa, though a Meryl-Streep-level thespian compared to Bald Guy. Joe is obviously agitated, and also is very interested by the fact that Pete Giudice is in the building.

Eventually, Jacqueline and Melissa agree that not only was Teresa a part of this set-up, but is in fact the main setter-upper. Melissa wonders why Teresa would try to take her down when they've made such strides in their relationship. She warns all the bitches out there to buckle up. Noted! Oh boy, and then Joe Gorga enters the building looking for Bald Guy and/or Pete Giudice. Melissa totally hopes that Pete gets a beating. Joe gets the other Bald Guy who is maybe the salon owner (????? I seriously have no idea anymore.) to text main Bald Guy (whom he says only worked at the salon for a day, which apparently is a common thing in New Jersey), and meanwhile Melissa lets Teresa know that someone accused her of being the architect of the set-up. Teresa wants to know who made such an accusation. The answer is THE WORLD. Melissa interviews that Teresa can try to pass it all off on Kim D., but everyone obviously knows better. Unless, in fact, Melissa set all this up herself to make us view her more sympathetically. Or maybe we are all just bit players in Andy Cohen's dream. In any case, Melissa vows not to be fooled thrice by Teresa.

Back outside, Jacqueline gives Joe information about her informant, who told her that Bald Guy was setting Melissa up on purpose and was making up the story. Now, the making up part we never heard him say. I still don't give two shits about whether Melissa was a stripper, but even amidst his confessions about the set up itself the guy did say that Melissa used to dance for him. Anyway, Joe wonders why Teresa would tell Melissa about the accusation and get everyone all upset, and Jacqueline lets loose with her theory that Teresa wanted other people to hear all about it. Back inside, Pete Giudice is congratulating Teresa on a job well done. Hmm. In an interview, Teresa tells us that her conscience is clear because she had nothing to do with this set up, but if Melissa wants to go ahead and ruin their family with her petty accusations, she can. Somewhere in the distance, Danielle Staub cackles.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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