Real Housewives of New Jersey
Strip Down Memory Lane

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Strip Sliding Away

Teresa explains that Bald Guy and Kim D. were discussing details of Melissa's employment, and she had to leave the room because she was so upset. I mean, yeah, but she practically had a glass to the door listening in. Melissa seems a bit put off by the fact that Teresa would get her heart beating 500 at the words of a mere stranger, and kind of randomly adds that she was a school teacher, which is much different than being a stripper. Melissa Gorga teaching second grade is enough in itself to warrant the parent trigger law. Don't back down, New Jersey parents! Teresa thinks that Melissa should go and confront Bald Guy for spreading nasty rumors, but Melissa claims that she doesn't really give a shit and doesn't understand why Teresa does.

Oh, and then. The aroma of dung wafts on the breeze as the proverbial shit hits the fan. Bald Guy is in the back of the room talking to another partygoer, and apparently doesn't realize how microphones work. He tells this person that Melissa used to dance for him, and Teresa knew about it too. And what's more, someone named Johnny called him and said that Teresa and Kim D. wanted to blow the whistle on holier than thou Melissa, and so had him do the bit where he came in and awkwardly asked Melissa how she was doing. At this point, Jacqueline gets a text from a mutual friend of hers and Teresa's saying that something is going down tonight, and that Jacqueline is not the target.

Back in the bathroom, Melissa asks Teresa if she really thinks her brother would have married a dancer. Teresa does not, given that they grew up inside the Pope's tall hat or on top of a church wafer or whatever. Melissa swears on the lives of her children that she was never a dancer. Teresa interviews that she had never believed that Melissa was a dancer, but now everything seems kind of "quinka dinket." Well, I could not have put it better myself. Between the lady who uses the term "quinka dinket" and the guy who doesn't know how microphones work, there's no way this evil cunning scheme couldn't have gone off without a hitch. Anyway, Melissa thinks that Bald Guy has no credibility because of his gross teeth, and also that it's pretty suspicious that Teresa didn't tell Bald Guy where to go when all this began. She starts to call Joe, thinking that he might want to come and have a conversation with Bald Guy. Teresa is not at all into the idea of Joe coming into this scene. She claims it's because you never know when someone might hit you over the head with something, and I'm guessing for her that is indeed a fact of daily life. But it's clear that Melissa has other ideas about why Teresa might not embrace the idea of seeing her brother exactly at this moment.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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