Real Housewives of New Jersey
Reunion Part 3

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Reunited and It Feels So Bad

In any case, the momos are in the house! Yes, now Joe Gorga, Chris Laurita and Richie Wakile are seated behind their respective wives on the couch. Al Manzo is the only one with the self-respect not to show up. Andy notes that Joe Gorga hasn't seen Juicy or Teresa since the Posche fashion show. See, Kim D. ruins lives. We go through a men's montage, which of course involves some blurred out footage of Joe's penis. And then remember how the men got into a fight? And I totally forgot, but Joe Gorga called Teresa a bitch and told her to fuck off at one point. I'm glad she has only daughters, because the men in her life sure don't speak to her very nicely. Although, Milania.

Andy asks if the two Joes have always had a contentious relationship. Joe Gorga explains that they grew up with the Giudices, and Juicy was like a cousin. Teresa freaks out at this point, thinking that Joe is saying that she married her cousin. And, like, their parents have to be brother and sister, right? Anyway, the Joes once got along, but then Juicy started hating Joe. Joe Gorga thinks it's because he succeeded in life. Juicy is mysteriously still hung up on this tool borrowing thing that we heard of way back when. To take a page out of Juicy's own book, I'm going to call it a draw and say, "Who gives a shit?"

We then move on to even more harrowing subject matter -- Joe Gorga's propensity for nudity. He argues that when you got it, you've got to show it. No. No you don't. A viewer then asks if Joe has taken a dip in the man pool. He doesn't actually answer the question, but does say that he loves the gays. I guess that means like one drunken beej. A viewer then asks if Rich ever thinks he's being inappropriate to the kids, with his talk about his erections and Kathy's fish-like qualities. Wait, when did he get an erection on camera? I think I blocked that one out. Oh God, then Kathy talks about Richie's morning wood and I just want to die. To take a page from Melissa Gorga's playbook, thank you Jesus that this season is ending!

Andy then asks Joe if being on the show has helped or hurt his relationship with Teresa. Uh, duh. Joe says that the relationship was ruined already, but posits that maybe he came on this show to get close to her. Oh, I'm so sure. Nice try. Chris Laurita jumps in to say that Joe has said some very nice things about Teresa and that they were obviously close but something happened along the way. Just when you think that Teresa might allow a nice moment to emerge she says, "The wife. That's what happened." And then it all starts again. Melissa claims that she's a saint and Teresa's a big meanie, and then Teresa wonders why Joe talked about the legal case when she asked her family not to, then Jacqueline and Melissa start in about the magazine again and Teresa starts screaming because she is emphatically NOT TALKING TO THEM.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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