Real Housewives of New Jersey
Reunion: Part 1

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Tammy from Nashville then asks if Caroline has been inspired to fix things with Dina. The long answer is…no. Apparently Dina gave an interview recently in which she said that she distanced herself from everyone on the show after leaving the cast, including Teresa. But Teresa showed up on her door and they talked through it since Teresa was upset that Dina was missing from her life. Caroline wants to keep it out of the press, because she does not want a Joe/Melissa/Teresa-style dirty laundry airing. It was Caroline who initially said that Melissa and Teresa are very similar, and she's sticking to that assertion. Melissa doesn't think so, saying they're very different on the inside. Except for the silicone, which I'm guessing is the same.

Andy asks Melissa about her new single, and she says they're working on radio play now. A fan writes in to note that people criticize her music for its heavy use of autotuning, and then talk turns to Melissa's book. In it, Melissa talked about her father's absence and how it has affected what she wants in her marriage. Teresa didn't know about Melissa's past and says it was weird to hear it on TV for the first time, as if these two had ever been close family confidantes. For the record, Teresa and Melissa TOTALLY still hate each other.

A fan writes in to ask why Melissa didn't put Joe on her book cover, and she says that SHE wrote the book and not Joe, which we all know would be impossible because he's actually illiterate. This question is one that was asked by Teresa, which you can tell peeves Melissa to no end. And then they bicker about Melissa's statement that her book is a REAL book and not just recipes for a while, as if anyone gives half a shit about it. In other news, Melissa apparently chooses all of Joe's secretaries and makes sure they're even older than Caroline, and generally keeps him on a tight leash. While Caroline has gone to strip clubs and gotten a lap dance with Al right beside her (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), Melissa prefers to keep her man at home where she can relive her stripper past for his eyes only.

Ugh, and then we start to talk about the hangers-on. Jan apparently texted Melissa after the cheating rumors dinner to tell her to watch her back, because Teresa and Kim D. were after her. Teresa refuses to make an official statement about this, and then Melissa talks about how Jan sold her out because she wanted to be on the show. Oh NO, and then they start talking about tabloids again. Teresa heard somewhere that Melissa has a contract with Radar Online, whereby if she gives them negative stories about Teresa they won't write anything bad about her. Melissa wonders why Teresa called Joe about this and not her, and the answer is obviously because she still hates Melissa. They go back and forth for a while until Caroline speaks for a nation as she busts in to say, "WHO CARES?" Jesus.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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