Real Housewives of New Jersey
It’s My Party and I’ll Fight If I Want To

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 3 USERS: B-
The Hairy Grille of Life

Previously on Masterpiece Presents: The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Richie was gross, per usual, and Kathy finally seemed to be acknowledging it. Nicholas said something approximating "I love you," and everyone cheered and cried even though he maaaaay have been talking to a lollipop. Caroline and Teresa had a sit-down for exactly no good reason, and got heated over the issue of Jacqueline. Tensions remained between the Giudices and Gorgas, and Nono was getting a pacemaker just so we could get nervous about whether he'd ever see his children reconcile before meeting the big grape stomper in the sky.

It's morning in Jersey and Teresa works out with her friend/trainer Linda at the gym. We hear the word "bubbies," for the first time in a while. Remember the glory days of season one, when joyful references to bubbies abounded? Were we ever really that young and innocent? Teresa talks about Gia's impending twelfth birthday party -- it's her first coed one, despite the fact that Teresa doesn't want her to talk to boys and threatens to disown her (after a lovingly enforced doctor's test) if she's not a virgin. Is Tio Joe coming, asks Linda? Teresa doesn't know, but she sent an invite, and is cautiously optimistic. Probably because she gets a bonus from Bravo every time she has a fight at a child's party.

We're then at Jacqueline's house, where everyone is anxiously awaiting the delivery of Nick's hyperbaric chamber bed. Much like John Travolta in The Boy in the Plastic Bubble, we can only hope that the hyperbaric chamber bed is big enough to allow Nick to bust out some fly disco moves as he gets older. Jacqueline tells us that through research she discovered that the hyperbaric chamber bed may help kids on the autism spectrum, then mentions that Michael Jackson had one. Maybe not the most compelling piece of evidence that it's not just some crackpot scheme. Joe and Caroline are both over (THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMMMMM), and learn that the bed is only for naps, and someone will go in with Nick. The bed basically looks like a big gym bag, and you get zipped in. Jacqueline gets in with Nick and reports that he's laughing. Caroline cries, and commends Jacqueline for trying any and every possible type of therapy for Nick, and doing so with a smile.

Everyone then leaves Nick (still in the bed, by himself) with his babysitter, and Caroline tells Jacqueline of her sit-down with Teresa. When Caroline says that Teresa expects an apology from Jacqueline, Jacks laughs and laughs. Basically, Jacqueline wants nothing to do with Teresa. OR DOES SHE? Really, she doesn't. But Caroline still suspects that both Teresa and Jacqueline have regrets. When hearing about how Caroline has served as mediator between Joe and Teresa, Jacqueline notes that Teresa keeps saying that everyone should butt out of her family business, but then asks people to butt into her family business. And in all fairness, Teresa did not request this particular instance of buttinskiness.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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