Real Housewives of New Jersey
In the Name of the Father

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Five Guys Named Joe

The dancing and merrymaking continue at The Manor, but Teresa feels the hurt when she tries to dance with her brother, and he gives her the cold shoulder. When she gets hold of baby Joey for a special dance with BJ, Melissa thinks it's all for show. She sends one of her minions over to take back the baby from Teresa and BJ.

The Manzo-Lauritas discuss the dynamic of the Giudice-Gorgas back at their dinner. It baffles all of them, and Jacqueline says Teresa felt like Melissa pulled away once she married CMJ. "There's definitely some kind of triangle going on there," she says. Caroline thinks they each don't understand their place in the family and that it's a case of Teresa and Melissa being so similar that they don't get along.

Dinner is served at The Manor. CMJ goes off that Teresa "grabbed" little Joey for a dance. Melissa recalls at Audriana's christening how Melissa was holding the baby, and Teresa ripped Audriana from Melissa's hands. And look! It's another Joey, this time it's Melissa's brother-in-law. CMJ -- emboldened by many shots, no doubt -- tells Melissa he does want her to react when Teresa steps out of line. Lysa thinks Melissa should be the bigger person. "You know what, Joe," says Joey, "we're classy!" Then he brings up how BJ owes him money. Elegance! Like the town gossip, Rich tells us that the Joes were friends all through their childhood. He thinks their falling out has to do with things that Teresa has been whispering in her husband's ear.

And then just as CMJ is giving full permission for Teresa to shit on his wife ("Oh, thanks!" says Melissa), just not his kids, Teresa approaches, and we're back to where we started. Teresa leans in for the awkward kiss, and CMJ tells Teresa to take a walk. Gia jumps in, and Teresa is two steps from walking away when CMJ calls her garbage. CMJ pounds the table, and BJ joins the fracas. Both sides feel they were aggressed, and CMJ drops F-bombs like there's no tomorrow. Amidst the epic melee, one of the family decides to push down the camera, just as CMJ yells, "I'll fuckin' kill every one of yous!" A lone cross hangs from a branch, wobbling from the sound waves assaulting it.

Kathy corrals a crying Gia and Audriana and gets them out of the room. Back at the main event, some random extra guy starts going bananas, probably just amped on 'roids and happy that there's a chance to punch someone. Melissa pins it all on BJ. She adds, "This crowd is not the kind of crowd you want to get into a fight with." Finally some guy, who had enough sense not to sign the waiver and so has a blurred face, reminds everyone that they're at a damn christening, so sit the fuck down. BJ's sister Maria tries to calm down CMJ, but he keeps hurling insults about how BJ is a piece of shit who ruined his relationship with his father. Melissa reiterates that BJ planted the seed in Teresa's father's head that CMJ isn't around enough because he works too much. "Well, we have bills to pay," snaps Melissa, "and we pay our bills."

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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