Real Housewives of New Jersey
Drinking with the Enemy

Episode Report Card
Potes: C- | 7 USERS: A-
An Affair to Forget

Previously on Masterpiece Presents: The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Everyone was maybe getting divorced! Except Teresa and Juicy, sadly. And ironically! The Gorga feud continued unabated and, in the words of Rosie, "This bullshit gotta stop!" She and Teresa had a sit-down complete with stereotypical Italian hand gestures, and there was lots of screaming until they decided that the whole family AND the Manzo/Lauritas should go on some sort of cleansing holistic spiritual retreat. Somewhere in a yurt, Pema Chodron quaked.

We enter with Kathy in her rented by the hour industrial kitchen. At first she was pissed off at Rich for getting the space, but now she's mostly happy to have a room of her own in which she can dwell in powdered sugar and Rich-free solitude. Caroline and Jacqueline pay a visit so they can watch Kathy use her one mixer from home in the giant space. Kathy says that she has to learn how to use all the equipment in the kitchen, and Caroline claims that she's moving on to bigger and better things. Well, at least "bigger," since she tells us in an interview that the kitchen is off the beaten path and on the scary mugger path.

Then Rosie shows up to give them all an excuse to talk about Teresa some more. Rosie is hoping for pot brownies, to no avail. She then goes into gesticulative detail about her sit-down with Teresa, and when she shows the group the scars on her knuckles it gives us a chance to be absolutely floored by her lovely manicured nails. It's just clear polish, but they're totally clean and gorgeous. Table pounding and all! Apparently the cartilage in her hand got displaced in the table-pounding incident, but she managed not to break a nail. Then Rosie talks about the spiritual retreat, to which everyone is invited. Jacqueline's instant reaction is, "Oh fuck no," which is exactly the right instinct. She laughs, but is serious. Caroline is in agreeance, saying that she did what she could, and now it's out of her hands. Kathy just sort of nods a lot, so it's unclear where she stands. Except on a pile of butter.

With that, we're in Teresa's kitchen, where Gia is complaining about wearing a Fabulicious On-the-Grill apron. Teresa says it's fine since Gia is twelve and going through puberty, and Milania exclaims that Gia is having a baby. She is quite excited for the arrival of her first niece. The doorbell rings, and it's Teresa's parents. Her dad is out of the hospital, rocking the combover, and ready to make some sausage. For health! Teresa tells us that her parents raised her with a lot of respect, and she would never raise her voice to them. Joe, on the other hand, would scream at them in the middle of his own son's christening, as we have seen. Teresa thinks that she and Joe's feud is disrespectful to her parents. It's also disrespectful to our collective dignity as a nation, such as it is.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey




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