Real Housewives of New Jersey
Children of the Scorned

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 11 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Trimming the Fat

And then for the first time in ages we see Albie and Chris's roommate, Greg. He sits down at the kitchen table while Christopher takes a shot out of a red solo cup plastic shot glass, because Manzo the younger is all class. It turns out that Greg found a job in San Francisco and is leaving soon, and taking his little dog Deloris with him. Greg asks if they're going to have a "cancer hang," which is the thing you do when someone is dying and everyone wants to see them. IF ONLY someone on this show were actually dying.

And then we cut to go-karting bonding time with Gia and Joe. They drive around on the track whilst smack talking one another, and I assure you that the footage is riveting. They get pizza, and Joe tells us about his philosophy that you shouldn't let kids win any sort of go-kart competitions. I wonder how that jives with his philosophy that hair sometimes comes from a can. He tries to convince Gia that these are moments she'll cherish for the rest of her life. She rolls her eyes, as she is wont to do, but then they actually segue into a legit discussion.

Gia tells Joe that she loved him most dearly, but when she was very little things were different. He'd come over all the time and whatnot. Joe explains how people change, and Gia responds that when he and Teresa were "tit for tat," that distanced the whole family. Joe unhelpfully explains that things happen in life, and Gia tells him that though they thought she was ignorant of these matters, she knew what was going on. When her mom would get upset and cry, it made Gia upset, but Joe tells her that there are two sides to every story. In some cases, however, Gia was there to form her own direct impressions, and she tells him that what stuck in her own mind was the christening, where Joe spewed cruel things at Teresa as Gia was standing right there. Joe says that he didn't see Gia there, which is not the issue. We flash back to Joe table-pounding and Gia crying, and Joe once again is completely unable to engage in a thoughtful conversation with a 12-year-old.

He repeats that things happen in life, and Gia says that it was a Christening, and thus not the right place or the right time to make such a scene, and it really hurt Joe and Teresa's parents. Points for Gia, man. I don't think I've given this kid enough credit so far. She continues, saying that she was affected by the fighting, and kids at school would come up to her and say that her uncle is a maniac. Now they're probably saying that her uncle is a maniac with spray-on hair. We flash back to Gia's sad and terrible song at her birthday party, when she broke down in tears. Joe says that he's not a maniac who jumps off the handle for no reason, but interviews that sometimes his behavior is disgusting, and he's embarrassed of himself. He promises to control himself from now on, which is good news for all the dudes who don't want spray-on hair on their shirts. Joe tells Gia that he loves her, and he loves Teresa, and Teresa loves him, and now things are all right, and that's it. Joe then proposes that they come back another time and bring the other kids, and Gia smiles and says that they'll love it. Side note: do you think Bret Michaels knew about spray-on hair?

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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